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Band 5.5

In many countries, young people are moving from rural areas to cities to work or study. Why is this happening? What are advantages or disadvantages of this trend?

#countries #people #areas #cities #work #study #trend
Recently, under the effect of globalization, the phenomenon of studying or working abroad has aroused wide concerns among various circles and
people
 have a myriad of views about the impacts of
this
 phenomenon. In
this
 essay, the reason and the drawback of leaving hometown to work or study shall be discussed. Of all the reasons why there is an increasing trend of leaving their hometown, probably the most significant one is that teenagers can equip themselves with good language skills. According to the statistics surveyed by the government, over 75% of
people
 are moving to Australia, America and United Kingdom for pursuing their education. Due to the fact that English is the main medium for communication in these countries, it is necessary that
people
 are only allowed to use English to communicate with the local
people
 in daily life. Not only their English proficiency can be improved, but it can
also
 help them to be competitive in the job market in the future. Despite the reason for moving out of their countries has been described
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
above, never should we overlook the drawback of studying abroad. They can easily go astray without proper guidance. As teenagers are still at a tender age and at a developmental stage, they have an impressionable mind and are easily susceptible to peer pressure. They are resorted to doing anything in a bid to gain peer recognition, be it drinking or abusing drugs,
such
 negative consequences are exacerbated by the fact that when there is no proper parental guidance.
Moreover
, youngsters with little self restraints will eventually attempt juvenile delinquency, which is incontrovertibly detrimental to their personal development. To summarise,
although
 moving out to other countries for studying or
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
 can sharpen their competitive edge in the future, it is of paramount importance that parents should be aware of their
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 behaviours.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Metropolitan
  • Career advancement
  • Higher education institutions
  • Cultural diversity
  • Infrastructure
  • Rural exodus
  • Standard of living
  • Networking
  • Overcrowding
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Quality of life
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