IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

There is a big number of people who wish to live in big cities. Write an essay to an educated reader to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in big cities, Include reason and any relevant examples to support your answer. Your response will be evaluated in term of Task Fulfilment, Organization, Vocabulary and Grammar.

In recent years, the issue of living in big
cities
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 has sparked much debate.
While
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 some
people
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 believe that the advantages of living in big
cities
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, others argue the disadvantages of living in big
cities
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.
This
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 essay will discuss both these perspectives. On the one hand, many
people
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 think that the advantage of living in big
cities
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 is the access to a wide range of employment opportunities.
This
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 is because
due to
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 the concentration of businesses, industries, and corporate headquarters in
cities
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, residents often find it easier to secure jobs suited to their skills and qualifications. Not only does
this
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 approach offer an extensive public transportation network, but it
also
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 helps make commuting more convenient on personal vehicles.
For instance
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,
people
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 travelling in public transportation
helps
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help
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 with cost savings and a reduction in carbon footprint, making it a more sustainable living option.
On the other hand
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, others believe that the disadvantages are overcrowding and pollution.
This
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 perspective is important because it leads to a lower quality of life. The high population density can result in longer wait times for public services, increased stress levels, and health complications.
Moreover
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, Urban anonymity and a lack of community feeling in big
cities
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, where individuals may feel less connected to those around them, can impact mental health.
For example
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,
people
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 away from their homes,
quite
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are quite
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 busy and meet with their family members even at festivals and celebrations.
To sum up
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,
while
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 both sides present valid arguments,
it is clear that
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 living in big
cities
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 could bring about certain benefits, but its negative consequences should not be overlooked.
However
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, I firmly believe that living in big
cities
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 brings great opportunities, as it offers greater benefits for career growth.
Overall
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, understanding both perspectives allows for a more balanced approach, but with the rise in technology, our country needs to improve its economy.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to clearly outline your main ideas in the introduction. This helps the reader know what to expect.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to help the ideas flow better from one to the next. For example, include words like 'furthermore' or 'however'.
Task Achievement
Since you mentioned both advantages and disadvantages, ensure that each point is well supported with examples or details. It makes your arguments stronger.
Task Achievement
You provided a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of living in big cities, which is a strong approach.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with paragraphs for each main idea, which helps to organize your thoughts.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanisation
  • metropolitan
  • infrastructure
  • cosmopolitan
  • multicultural
  • public amenities
  • sustainability
  • commute
  • residential areas
  • property prices
  • quality of life
  • overcrowding
  • pollution
  • economic opportunities
  • social connectivity
  • cultural diversity
  • anonymity
  • disposable income
  • public transportation
  • corporate headquarters
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