Alcohol plays an important part in the lives of many people. However, some problems are connected with alcohol use. In what ways can the use of alcohol be negative for an individual or a society? How can these problems be overcome?

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It is important to consider some problems use of
alcohol
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.
Although
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it has
crucial
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a crucial

The noun phrase crucial role seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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role in a lot of people’s
live
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lives

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.
This
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essay will
endeavor
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endeavour

The spelling of endeavor is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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to examine the reasons why
this
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situation has
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apply

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a risen
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arisen

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and
to
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apply

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pinpoint possible ways of dealing with it. In essence,
alcohol
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

consumption creates problems in
person’s
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a person’s

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healthy
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health

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such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as mental and body health. Commonly, it makes
lack
Correct article usage
a lack

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of awareness for
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the consumer
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Add an article
the consumer

The noun phrase consumer seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
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also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

problems drinking
touched
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touch

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drinker’s families, friends and communities.
The most
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Most

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consumption may be damaged the internal parts of the body and
their
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the

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mind,
harming
Wrong verb form
harm

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population
Correct article usage
the population

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other than the drinker, and can have negative consequences for
society
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

as a whole. It is commonly believed to play a role in decreased worker productivity Due to lack of concentration and
also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

aggression and violence against others, and child and spouse abuse. Despite these challenges, it is possible to resolve these paints through educational campaigns and government facilities. National campaigns,
which
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apply

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can be promoted
consumer’s
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consumer

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information that people need
understanding
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to understand

Understanding doesn’t seem to work here.

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more about what
alcohol
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

contain
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contains

The verb contain does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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. Adolescents should teach in school about
alcohol
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

’s drawbacks. They shouldn’t use or moderate drinking sometimes.
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Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Moreover. Consider adding a comma.

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if the government provides more welfare and recreational facilities for
nation
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the nation

The noun phrase nation seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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, they won’t tend to
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

fun
in
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apply

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short
during
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apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, concern about jobs, housing and the future can be worried. If people have social welfare, having happiness and
tranquility
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tranquillity

The spelling of tranquility is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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and entertainment in their life not only will not be inclined to
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

material to improve their morale but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

dislike
to
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apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a moment enjoyable with terrible consequences. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

many people
of
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in

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society
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have been experiencing to use
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Use synonyms
alcohol
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of alcohol

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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and creating
lack
Correct article usage
a lack

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of awareness and a moment of
enjoyed
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enjoyment

The word enjoyed doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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. I would advise
alcohol
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

consumption controlled or get rid of it. Experts in government and
society
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

allocated more time and planned
for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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resolve
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

problem in the
society
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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