Some people spend a lot of money on things that are unnecessary, while so many people in thus world do not even get anything to eat. why do you think people do it? what can be done to stop them from doing so?

#people #money #world

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Nowadays, it become a trend to be modern and

Verb problem

apply

show examples

show off by purchasing trendy things.

However

Linking Words

, it is completely useless for one.

Whereas

Linking Words

the world outside so many communities starving for bread.

Initially

Linking Words

. In today's modern era community used to shop for unhelpful products., they spend a lot of cash on clothes and gadgets and electric amenities. To be trendy and compete with others.

Whereas

Linking Words

, many countries are unable to provide at least bread to their citizens. A recent phenomenon

happens

Wrong verb form

happened

show examples

in Srilanka country, where the community seeking electricity and medical needs. There are

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

solutions to concur

the

Change preposition

on the

show examples

issue of unnecessary capital spending and increasing ratio of poverty.,First of all ,all populations need to understand the importance of saving bills. They should cut off buying unuseful things and save the property for the future.

Thus

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they may help other folks, outside who need meat and shelter to survive. By donating property or giving foodstuff and water.

Thus

Linking Words

, both issues can be solved.

To sum up

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, by understanding the cause of starvation and unhealthy ,salary spending can be resolved by realising the importance of wealth and saving it for the near future and donating or using funds to help other populations.

Submitted by kandoriyapoonam0 on Thu May 19 2022

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that your introduction clearly introduces the topic and provides a thesis statement. Make sure to support your main points with relevant examples and develop your ideas further. Work on organizing your ideas in a more coherent and structured manner throughout the essay.

task achievement

You need to fully address the prompt, providing a clear response to the questions asked. Make sure your ideas are comprehensive and relevant, and utilize specific examples to support your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

201 words

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Some people spend a lot of money on things that are unnecessary, while so many people in thus world do not even get anything to eat. why do you think people do it? what can be done to stop them from doing so?

Fully explain your ideas

Some countries achieve international success by building specialized facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In some countries, most people prefer to rent their homes rather than buying them.what are some of the advantages and disadvantages of renting homes ?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that success in left comes from hard work and determination while others think that there are more important factors such as many appearance. Discuss both view and give your opinion.