Some people think that personal happiness is directly related to economic success. Others argue that happiness depends on different factors.Discuss both views and gove your opinion

#people #happiness #success #factors #gove

These days people place a premium on their good feeling. Some people argue that economic success has a dire consequence on their feeling, while

other

Correct pronoun usage

others

show examples

think happiness has other contributing factors. In my view

money

leads to happiness. To advance a convincing theory I could deal with why financial success is contribute to good emotions. It is plain to when you have

money

life

is much easier, you can earn everything you want. Gone is the idea of knowledge is better than

money

For instance

, Since Ronaldo has become rich, his

life

has changed beyond recognition. Now he can buy his dreams. what happiness means is Owning your dreams. Another feature which I should mention is,

people

Correct word choice

that people

show examples

will respect you. On top of that your position in society, these all bring about a good, calm and relaxing

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

. Even most of the problems in

life

can be solved by

money

. But we should consider that good health condition is very important too. If you have

good

Add an article

a good

the good

show examples

economical situation and you don’t have the ability to use that bills, you will be depressed.

For example

, I remember when my mother was sick, we had had

hard

Change the article

a hard

show examples

time in that period, yet on the grounds that my father was totally ok with the

expences

Correct your spelling

expenses

show examples

and

thanks

Add the preposition

tothanks

show examples

good she is alive now. Not

last

but not least, some daily events can make us really happy like the day we get married, our birthday, when we decide to go to a party and etcetera. To conclude,

although

other factors are important, noting can’t be replaced with your income.

Submitted by s.pantea.rahnama on Thu May 19 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

economic success
financial security
leisure activities
healthcare
self-esteem
societal status
sense of accomplishment
multifaceted
social relationships
mental and physical health
sense of purpose
fulfillment
personal hobbies
community involvement
mitigate stress
emotional and psychological needs

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Technology is becoming progressively universal. In the fullness of time, classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Do you agree or disagree?
In this present world, the usage of technology is constantly on the rise. Even classrooms are among the many places that enjoy the usage and benefits of technology. It is disagreed that classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Analyzing the incapability of disciplining classroom students with technology, as well as the limitation in the learning process of students taught with technology will prove this.
6
band
Two weeks ago you bought a radio from a local branch of a well-known chain of shops. It did not work properly. The shop took it back and said they would repair it. You have waited a week and it is still not ready. Write a letter to the shop. In your letter say what has happened and how you feel ask them to explain why there has been a delay ask them to repair the radio very quickly or to supply you with a new radio
I am writing this letter to let you know that your shop has taken more than a week to return my radio which was given for fixing the antenna issue.
4
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?
In this case there is several reasons large number of people are becoming more interested in searching out about the history of the house or building they live. To get familiar with the background of their accommodation, people can find relevant information by searching online, visiting historical local museums, or even asking former residents there.
5
band
In some place old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
While in certain regions, older people is considered more value than the young, many others say the opposite. It is this writer opinion that support the benefits from youngster are greater than the old because of the capability and modern knowledge despite being inexperienced.
6.5
band
Which do you prefer: a high-paying job with long hours or a lower-paying job with shorter hours? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
A high-paying job and a lower-paying job both can have their own benefits and disadvantages.I would prefer a high-paying job with long hours rather than a lower-paying job with shorter hours.

Some people think that personal happiness is directly related to economic success. Others argue that happiness depends on different factors.Discuss both views and gove your opinion

Fully explain your ideas

Technology is becoming progressively universal. In the fullness of time, classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

In some place old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Which do you prefer: a high-paying job with long hours or a lower-paying job with shorter hours? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.