IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

In recent years, the role of
literature
Use synonyms
 in high
school
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 curricula has become a broad issue within the general public. Some people argue that it is a waste of
time
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 for high
school
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students
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 to learn
literature
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 at
school
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, asserting that the focus should be on more pragmatic
subjects
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 that directly relate to future career paths.
However
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, it seems to me that the study of
literature
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 holds significant value in developing critical thinking, empathy, and cultural awareness among
students
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. The following essay will clarify these viewpoints. On the one hand, it is imperative to recognize that individuals should appreciate the substantial benefits of incorporating
literature
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 into
school
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 curricula. A pivotal point to consider is that
literature
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 fosters critical thinking
skills
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, which emphasizes that
students
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 learn to analyze texts, interpret complex themes, and assess characters' motivations.
For example
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, when
students
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 read and discuss novels
such
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 as "To Kill a Mockingbird" or "1984," they are not just engaging with stories; they are critically examining societal values and ethical dilemmas, which enhances their analytical capabilities.
Moreover
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, an additional crucial aspect to highlight is the way
literature
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 cultivates empathy among
students
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.
This
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 stems from the understanding that
literature
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 presents diverse perspectives and experiences, allowing
students
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 to step into the shoes of others.
For instance
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, reading works written by authors from various cultural backgrounds can help high
school
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students
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 develop a deeper understanding of different life experiences, fostering a sense of compassion and social responsibility.
On the other hand
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, it is crucial to examine the opposing viewpoint that sees
literature
Use synonyms
 as a waste of
time
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. A noteworthy factor to consider is that proponents of
this
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 perspective often contend that the educational curriculum should prioritize
subjects
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 that provide direct vocational
skills
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.
This
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 emphasizes that in an increasingly competitive job market,
students
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 may find themselves ill-prepared for real-world challenges without practical
skills
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.
For instance
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, one might refer to the rising demand for technical
skills
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 in fields
such
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 as technology and engineering, which illustrates the potential drawbacks associated with a heavy emphasis on literary studies.
Furthermore
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, it is essential to underscore that
time
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 spent on
literature
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 could take away from
subjects
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 perceived as more immediately beneficial,
such
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 as mathematics or science.
This
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 assertion is supported by the fact that many
students
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 feel pressure to perform in areas that enhance their employability, thereby providing a clearer understanding of the complexities involved in educational priorities. In conclusion,
while
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 the debate over the relevance of
literature
Use synonyms
 in high
school
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 education is multifaceted, I firmly believe that the benefits outweigh the criticisms. The ability to think critically and empathize with others is invaluable in today’s diverse and complex world.
Literature
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 not only enriches
students
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 intellectually but
also
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 prepares them to navigate societal challenges with understanding and insight.
Therefore
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, rather than dismissing
literature
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 as a waste of
time
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, educational institutions should strive to balance literary studies with practical
subjects
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 to provide a well-rounded education that fosters both personal and professional growth.

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Task Achievement
Consider providing more specific examples that relate directly to the points being made. For instance, mention how developing critical thinking skills can have practical applications in various careers.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next to enhance flow, possibly by using linking phrases at the beginning or end of paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction clearly states your viewpoint and outlines the essay's structure well, guiding the reader on what to expect.
Task Achievement
You have effectively highlighted the value of literature by discussing its role in fostering empathy and critical thinking, which are important skills.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
What to do next:
Look at other essays: