IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

To meet the growing need for food to support an increasing population, a country should make use of edible insects as a food source. However, some people believe that insects are not only unhealthy but harvesting them will also negatively affect nature. What are the benefits and drawbacks of eating insects? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#food #support #population #country #insects #source #people #nature
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The
fast growing
Add a hyphen
fast-growing
show examples
 population have a high
food
Use synonyms
 demand globally.
That is
Linking Words
 why some suggested that eating edible
insects
Use synonyms
 is one way to overcome the demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
food
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, several people
against
Add a missing verb
are against
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on
Change preposition
apply
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it
due
Add the preposition
todue
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 the fact that it is not healthy and have
adverse
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an adverse
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 effect
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the ecosystem. In my opinion, the
disadvatages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 outweigh the advantages
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 case. To commence with, one of the biggest issues around the world is the continuously increasing
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
population. Because of
this
Linking Words
, there is
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 enough
food
Use synonyms
 to supply the demand and the option is to find other ways just like eating edible
insects
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
insects
Use synonyms
 are repulsive in nature in which we can usually see them in
dirty
Add an article
a dirty
show examples
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
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, just like,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
human waste and contaminated water.
Morever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, it is unhealthy to eat them for the reason that they are carrying bacteria from the waste and it will cause gastrointestinal diseases
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the people. Apart from that,
insects
Use synonyms
 are crucial to the environment and if people
also
Linking Words
 consume
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 it will affect the balance in
ecosystem
Add an article
the ecosystem
an ecosystem
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
insects
Use synonyms
 are great sources of protein. As the study shows in the United State of America, edible
insects
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 have higher protein content
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other animals.
In
Change preposition
Which
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which
Correct pronoun usage
this
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will
helps
Change the verb form
help
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 our body to build
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strong
muscle
Fix the agreement mistake
muscles
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. In my conclusion,
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
 of edible
insects
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 detrimental to the health of individuals and
also
Linking Words
 to the ecosystem. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it is a good source of protein it will not be the best option to be another
food
Use synonyms
 source.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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