Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree.

Sweets
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
one of the major taste buds
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
tongue but an excessive
amount
of
sugar
intake
could lead to
health
problems.
Moreover
, many produced food and drink
products
were with a substantial
amount
of it.
Thus
,
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
brands should increase their price to encourage
people
to eat minimal
sugar
.
This
essay agrees with the statement mentioned above and will discuss the aforementioned. A considerable
health
risk is being considered if
sugar
intake
were not controlled, and several
products
were produced with a large
amount
of
sugar
as the main ingredients
such
as ice cream, cake, and coke. The excessive
intake
of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
products
could cause
to unbalance
Change the verb form
unbalanced
show examples
glucose
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
in
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
body and
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
potential
health
trouble happened
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and will affect the function of the vital organs
such
as
heart
Correct article usage
the heart
show examples
, lungs and skin.
Furthermore
, the immune system will
be lessen
Change the verb form
be lessened
show examples
,
thus
, resulting
to
Change preposition
in to
show examples
wound not healing faster.
For instance
, A study noted that 90%
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
diagnosed with diabetes mellitus were the
people
who used to eat and drink sweets
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
excessive
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
this
product could be consumed minimally by
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
if awareness about its
health
drawbacks, and made it more expensive was insisted.
That is
to say that the government could assist with
this
matter by the enforcement of
law
Add an article
the law
show examples
, and additional tax will be added
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
products
which
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
content of
sugar
, in
additional
Replace the word
addition
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
society notification about its
health
risk.
For instance
, the coke company has been producing their product with
alternative
Correct article usage
an alternative
show examples
sweetener named Coke Zero. In conclusion,
this
essay support that high
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sweet substance that was manufactured by food and drink company affects many
health
risk
Change to a plural noun
risks
show examples
must
Correct word choice
and must
show examples
increased
Change the verb form
increase
be increased
show examples
in price to encourage
people
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
lesser
sugar
intake
.
Submitted by brainfreeze on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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