Some say that because many people are living much longer ,the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
long long growth expectancy does not mean high productivity,
life
expectancy has increased among people
because of some medical treatments and the invention of technical devices ,which help the public at home and work
.Therefore
government think that the retirement
age
should be increased significantly.I disagree with this
view and i
am going to reflect reasons for Change the capitalization
I
this
in my essay. There are several reasons for government can not increase the retirement
age
.First
and furthermore
, although
people
are living a long period,Correct article usage
a
for instance
, the population may gain a lot of diseases throughout their life
,due to challenges of life
and pressure of work
as a result
they are not able to work
effectively when they are old and this
influences the prospect of the company . Another downside of increasing the pension age
is that impacts our society negatively,
because grandparenting is the most important part of the upbringing and nursing of the young generation. Grandparents are likely to be Remove the comma
apply
second
parents to instruct children in being aware of the rights and wrongs in every walk of life
,in addition
, children have clothing relationships with their grandparents who always be together with them when parents are busy with their work
and family burdens. Secondly
, for many ,people
evacuation is the beginning of new life
with less pressure and more entertainment when people
want to fulfil their lifelong dreams. Elderly people
are prone to be together with their family and want to get affection from their children. Moreover
, they do prefer to travel and discover new things for their later new life
which after retirement
age
. To sum up . Although
the increase of the retirement
age
would be good for the budget of authority I strongly believe that this
has a negative impact on the not only wholesome of
elderly Change preposition
apply
people
but also
it will affect society.Submitted by uluga2002 on
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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion