Some say that because many people are living much longer ,the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

long
life
expectancy has increased among
people
because of some medical treatments and the invention of technical devices ,which help the public at home and
work
.
Therefore
government think that the
retirement
age
should be increased significantly.I disagree with
this
view and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
am going to reflect reasons for
this
in my essay. There are several reasons for government can not increase the
retirement
age
.
First
and
furthermore
,
although
people
are living a long period,
Correct article usage
a
show examples
long growth expectancy does not mean high productivity,
for instance
, the population may gain a lot of diseases throughout their
life
,due to challenges of
life
and pressure of
work
as a result
they are not able to
work
effectively when they are old and
this
influences the prospect of the company . Another downside of increasing the pension
age
is that impacts our society negatively
,
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apply
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because grandparenting is the most important part of the upbringing and nursing of the young generation. Grandparents are likely to be
second
parents to instruct children in being aware of the rights and wrongs in every walk of
life
,
in addition
, children have clothing relationships with their grandparents who always be together with them when parents are busy with their
work
and family burdens.
Secondly
, for many ,
people
evacuation is the beginning of new
life
with less pressure and more entertainment when
people
want to fulfil their lifelong dreams. Elderly
people
are prone to be together with their family and want to get affection from their children.
Moreover
, they do prefer to travel and discover new things for their later new
life
which after
retirement
age
. To sum up .
Although
the increase of the
retirement
age
would be good for the budget of authority I strongly believe that
this
has a negative impact on the not only wholesome
of
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elderly
people
but
also
it will affect society.
Submitted by uluga2002 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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