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Band 3.5

Do you think that technological advancement has brought more harm than good? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

#advancement #harm #support
technology
heloed
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helped
 us in many different areas
however
 it brought us enormous advantages but
also
 it have
ssome
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some
 downsides. I
hearthworthy
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hearth worthy
, believe tech improved our
life
 quilty and speed up our
life
 pace to commence with,
technolgical
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technological
improvments
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improvements
improvement
 helped us to change our
life
 for good. the technical
advantagment
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advantage
 raised our
expectency
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expectancy
 toward
life
. Today we could keep track of our health balance easily with tech-based apps or devices.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 taking blood
presure
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pressure
 is much
feasible
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more feasible
show examples
 with only a mobile phone. Or
thecnology
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technology
 helped us to
commonicate
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communicate
 with each other where ever and
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whenever
show examples
when ever
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whenever
show examples
 we want. Mobile phones are a key point
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our daily
life
 as they helped us in different areas
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 our
Correct your spelling
lives
life
lifes
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lives
show examples
. to resume with, technology raised our speed of doing things. Now thanks to
this
thech
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tech
that
advancment
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advancement
 we do most of
tasks
Add an article
the tasks
show examples
 twice faster activities
such
 as typing or shopping. Today, we used to order our
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
trough
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through
show examples
 our smart screens
ans
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and
as
 we are typing so faster than
old
Change preposition
in old
show examples
 times in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of using
comouters
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computers
.
Also
, today we can transfer
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of data with
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and computers the
usefull
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useful
 data that could save
many
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 in
hazard
Replace the word
hazardous
show examples
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
such
 as predicting
earthquicks
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earthquakes
 or sending text
durinf
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during
 the
wasrs
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wars
. All in all, I am still
convince
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convinced
show examples
 that
modern day
Add a hyphen
modern-day
show examples
advancment
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advancement
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
thechnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 helped us in many areas and
this
 will resume much in the future.
Submitted by parafik on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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