Today's school should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

this

contemporary epoch, education should be more focused on financial literacy. There is a rising number of individuals who argue that

schools

must teach

students

how to deal with finances, whereas others may share the opposite opinion. I agree with

this

approach partially and

therefore

I am going to identify some reasons why. Focusing on the contemporary western lifestyle, where money is, unfortunately, one of the most prominent variables, financial knowledge is undoubtedly inevitable. Linked to

this

schools

should presumably tailor the schedules and incorporate new

subject

Fix the agreement mistake

subjects

show examples

for instance

- Financial literacy. It may offer a noteworthy opportunity for

students

to learn how to survive financially. More particularly speaking,

students

may learn about the options of saving money, whether to invest one´s hard-earned wages on inevitable items, as opposed

using

Change preposition

to using

show examples

it more wisely and many others. From

this

point of view, I agree with those who hold

this

school of thought that

schools

should offer financial knowledge to

students

On the other hand

, there are still individuals, who argue that money should not become one the main object of focus at

schools

. There are arguments, that there are more important things, which should

students

learn,

instead

of the financial knowledge. In connection with the still increasing number of diseases and psychological

disorders

Add a comma

,disorders

show examples

schools

should presumably focus more on these aspects of life.

For instance

, by teaching them how to lead a healthy lifestyle through

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

food habits.

The

Correct article usage

show examples

recent research paper from Cambridge university state that 80% of our health issues are related to the food we consume.

Moreover

proper

Add an article

the proper

show examples

physical condition may

subsequently

help to mitigate their psychological issues. To conclude, from the aforementioned arguments is clearly visible that both sides are equally right

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because in the present world is inevitable to know how to deal with the finances, whereas there are other important issues, which should be tackled in the same manner.

Submitted by sevcik.karol on Sat May 21 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

314 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

financial literacy
modern economy
student debt
mitigate
practical financial skills
budgeting
saving
investing
income inequality
psychological benefits
financial security
traditional education
financial independence
technology
personal finance management
global perspective
entrepreneurship
curriculum

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Nowadays the way many people interact why each other has changed because of technology In what ways has technology affected the types of relation ship people make Has this become a positive or negative development?
In recent years , the advancement that had happened in technology affect a lot on the communication among people and change the way they used to interact with each other , which make people have online friend way more than actual friend . I believe this advancement has both pros and cones that I will discussed .
4.5
band
It can be difficult for small local shops to compete with large supermarkets and with on-line shops. How does this affect local communities? What could be done to improve this situation?
Nowadays there is more choice for the consumers then ever in the past. Most small towns have a large supermarket and you can buy any product on the internet with just the click. This might be good for consumners but small local shops are competition and they have to close, in my opinion we need to protect small shops by closing.
6.5
band
An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?
Many service-oriented professionals from underdeveloped or developing countries migrate to developed ones for employment. Indeed these situations cause a brain-drain in their home country. These problems can be solved by the government by recognizing their valuable work and providing them with good pay.
6
band
Some people believe that allowing childern to make their own choices on everyday matters (Such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuls who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for childern to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is thought by a selection of individuals that letting the younger generation decides what they want on everyday matters leading to allowing them to think about themselves, resulting in an isolated society. However, others believe that we should just let them make decisions that are critical for their lives only. In this essay, both viewpoints will be outlined in the following paragraphs before reaching my conclusion which is I agree with the latter notion.
5
band
'We should introduce laws to make businesses and state services employ equal numbers of male and female workers in every department or area of the company.' How far do you support this idea? Give reasons for your answer, and support your essay with ideas and examples from your own experience. You should write at least 250 words.
Their is no doubt, that laws should protect basic human values and stimulate development of society. However, i do not agree with the idea to make businesses and state services employ equal numbers of male and female workers in every department or area of the company. The initiative has many drawbacks, which I will be described in the essay.

Today's school should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays the way many people interact why each other has changed because of technology In what ways has technology affected the types of relation ship people make Has this become a positive or negative development?

It can be difficult for small local shops to compete with large supermarkets and with on-line shops. How does this affect local communities? What could be done to improve this situation?

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?