Today's school should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

In
this
contemporary epoch, education should be more focused on financial literacy. There is a rising number of individuals who argue that
schools
must teach
students
how to deal with finances, whereas others may share the opposite opinion. I agree with
this
approach partially and
therefore
I am going to identify some reasons why. Focusing on the contemporary western lifestyle, where money is, unfortunately, one of the most prominent variables, financial knowledge is undoubtedly inevitable. Linked to
this
,
schools
should presumably tailor the schedules and incorporate new
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
,
for instance
- Financial literacy. It may offer a noteworthy opportunity for
students
to learn how to survive financially. More particularly speaking,
students
may learn about the options of saving money, whether to invest one´s hard-earned wages on inevitable items, as opposed
using
Change preposition
to using
show examples
it more wisely and many others. From
this
point of view, I agree with those who hold
this
school of thought that
schools
should offer financial knowledge to
students
.
On the other hand
, there are still individuals, who argue that money should not become one the main object of focus at
schools
. There are arguments, that there are more important things, which should
students
learn,
instead
of the financial knowledge. In connection with the still increasing number of diseases and psychological
disorders
Add a comma
,disorders
show examples
schools
should presumably focus more on these aspects of life.
For instance
, by teaching them how to lead a healthy lifestyle through
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food habits.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
recent research paper from Cambridge university state that 80% of our health issues are related to the food we consume.
Moreover
,
proper
Add an article
the proper
show examples
physical condition may
subsequently
help to mitigate their psychological issues. To conclude, from the aforementioned arguments is clearly visible that both sides are equally right
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because in the present world is inevitable to know how to deal with the finances, whereas there are other important issues, which should be tackled in the same manner.
Submitted by sevcik.karol on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial literacy
  • modern economy
  • student debt
  • mitigate
  • practical financial skills
  • budgeting
  • saving
  • investing
  • income inequality
  • psychological benefits
  • financial security
  • traditional education
  • financial independence
  • technology
  • personal finance management
  • global perspective
  • entrepreneurship
  • curriculum
What to do next:
Look at other essays: