Today's school should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

this

contemporary epoch, education should be more focused on financial literacy. There is a rising number of individuals who argue that

schools

must teach

students

how to deal with finances, whereas others may share the opposite opinion. I agree with

this

approach partially and

therefore

I am going to identify some reasons why. Focusing on the contemporary western lifestyle, where money is, unfortunately, one of the most prominent variables, financial knowledge is undoubtedly inevitable. Linked to

this

schools

should presumably tailor the schedules and incorporate new

subject

Fix the agreement mistake

subjects

show examples

for instance

- Financial literacy. It may offer a noteworthy opportunity for

students

to learn how to survive financially. More particularly speaking,

students

may learn about the options of saving money, whether to invest one´s hard-earned wages on inevitable items, as opposed

using

Change preposition

to using

show examples

it more wisely and many others. From

this

point of view, I agree with those who hold

this

school of thought that

schools

should offer financial knowledge to

students

On the other hand

, there are still individuals, who argue that money should not become one the main object of focus at

schools

. There are arguments, that there are more important things, which should

students

learn,

instead

of the financial knowledge. In connection with the still increasing number of diseases and psychological

disorders

Add a comma

,disorders

show examples

schools

should presumably focus more on these aspects of life.

For instance

, by teaching them how to lead a healthy lifestyle through

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

food habits.

The

Correct article usage

show examples

recent research paper from Cambridge university state that 80% of our health issues are related to the food we consume.

Moreover

proper

Add an article

the proper

show examples

physical condition may

subsequently

help to mitigate their psychological issues. To conclude, from the aforementioned arguments is clearly visible that both sides are equally right

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because in the present world is inevitable to know how to deal with the finances, whereas there are other important issues, which should be tackled in the same manner.

Submitted by sevcik.karol on Sat May 21 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

314 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial literacy
modern economy
student debt
mitigate
practical financial skills
budgeting
saving
investing
income inequality
psychological benefits
financial security
traditional education
financial independence
technology
personal finance management
global perspective
entrepreneurship
curriculum

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Today's school should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Hosting international sporting competitions is good,but few people think this causes too many problems. Explain both views and tell your opinion.

Some say that parents whose children are breaking the law must be punished in some way. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The government should ban smoking in public places , even though this would restrict some other people's freedom . Do you agree or disagree.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?