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Writing Samples
Band 7

All societies have their own music and art. In what way are music and art important for society and for the individual?

#societies #music #art #society
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In today's world, Infotainment is appreciated by many
people
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 of all generations , where
Arts
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 and
music
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 are the pillars of the same. These have a special place in terms of showing creativity, providing moral messages to
people
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 and entertainment as well.
This
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 makes them, indeed, an indispensable part of any culture.
To begin
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 with,
Arts
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 are crucial for Societies. More often, the places are recognized for what they are specialized in. To illustrate the fact, Whenever
people
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 recall about Belly Dance, their minds immediately wander about European Countries.
Likewise
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, Bhangra is associated with Punjab, Madame Tussauds, Opera and many more have their own identification, which makes the place - a better-known place.
Furthermore
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, A small group of
people
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 living separately,
for example
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, tribal
people
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 have their own kind of
music
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 or their own cultural dance et Cetra which may be very dear to them and helps to build their group's identity.
In addition
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 to societies, Individuals are not far away from the benefits of
Arts
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 and
music
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. These can act as a source to calm their mind from the buzzing sounds of cities,
helps
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help
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 to enhance creativity et cetera. These are
also
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 a better pastime as well, as it is better to invest time in visiting museums, theatres et Cetra than lying on the bed for the whole day being lethargic. These are
also
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 one of the sources to help
people
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 earn their livings. There are many
people
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, who make ends meet just by performing on the streets or in theatres.
To conclude
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,
Arts
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 and
music
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 are inseparable from Societies and Individuals. Not only, do these act as a valuable source of entertainment but
also
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 help
people
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 to generate income or learn something new.
Submitted by Mannpreet Kaur on

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task response
The essay provides a clear response to the task and addresses the importance of music and art for society and individuals. Ensure to expand on the relevance of music and art in today's world and their impact on society and individuals.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a proper introduction and conclusion. To enhance coherence, consider using transition words and phrases to connect ideas and improve the flow of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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