For a long time art has been considered an essential part of all cultures in the world. However, nowadays people’s values have changed, and we tend to consider science, technology and business more important than arts. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to draw people’s attention to art?

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Nowadays, throughout the world technological progress sharply changed people’s lives by providing lots of information through up-to-date electronic devices. As a matter of fact, it is obvious that
this
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contemporary trend negatively affects another vital sector of activity as an
art
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direction, rapidly increasing the percentage of societies’ involvement in
this
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circle.
This
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essay will attempt to illustrate the main reasons for
this
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situation and will provide a few viewpoints on how it can be resolved.
Firstly
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, as can be seen, modern society is altering sharply
due to
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the fact that cutting-edge research activities are constantly in progress and technological inventions are created by scientists and specialists. People are involved in
this
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new trend in
order
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to be more efficient and
as a result
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, be more successful.
Additionally
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, as it can be observed, current individuals are pushing themselves to invent new variants of technologies or new medical equipment,
for instance
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, in
order
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to improve the quality of people’s lives.
This
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is a new generation and new rules of life, which, unfortunately, cannot be changed.
Secondly
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, it is undoubtedly true that a global cultural heritage ought to be saved for our future generations as well. In
order
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to increase a current society’s involvement in cultural activities and create a new audience for an
art
Use synonyms
direction, authorities have to provide some efficient policies, which can stimulate citizens to be engaged in the
art
Use synonyms
sphere. So,
for example
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, the government can make cultural events more available for citizens for their attendance or decrease entry fees to museums and interactive theatres. In summary,
nevertheless
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, in
order
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to maintain an interest in
art
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, every citizen ought to be involved in
this
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process, which automatically improves people’s literacy and awareness.
Submitted by akhmedova.mb on

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task achievement
To enhance your essay further, aim to introduce specific examples or case studies that illustrate your points. This will provide concrete evidence to support your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures more to add rhythm and interest to your writing, though the structure you have is generally clear and logical.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly addresses a single main idea, using adequate supporting details. This practice strengthens the coherence of your essay.
task achievement
You've established a clear position throughout the essay, maintaining a consistent argument in response to the task.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is commendable.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, effectively framing your essay's arguments.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • STEM fields (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics)
  • evolve
  • technological advancements
  • overshadowing
  • financial pressures
  • practical careers
  • digital entertainment
  • accessible
  • integrated
  • curricula
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • public art projects
  • engage
  • interactive
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