For a long time art has been considered an essential part of all cultures in the world. However, nowadays people’s values have changed, and we tend to consider science, technology and business more important than arts. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to draw people’s attention to art?

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Nowadays, throughout the world technological progress sharply changed people’s lives by providing lots of information through up-to-date electronic devices. As a matter of fact, it is obvious that

this

Linking Words

contemporary trend negatively affects another vital sector of activity as an

art

Use synonyms

direction, rapidly increasing the percentage of societies’ involvement in

this

Linking Words

circle.

This

Linking Words

essay will attempt to illustrate the main reasons for

this

Linking Words

situation and will provide a few viewpoints on how it can be resolved.

Firstly

Linking Words

, as can be seen, modern society is altering sharply

due to

Linking Words

the fact that cutting-edge research activities are constantly in progress and technological inventions are created by scientists and specialists. People are involved in

this

Linking Words

new trend in

order

Use synonyms

to be more efficient and

as a result

Linking Words

, be more successful.

Additionally

Linking Words

, as it can be observed, current individuals are pushing themselves to invent new variants of technologies or new medical equipment,

for instance

Linking Words

, in

order

Use synonyms

to improve the quality of people’s lives.

This

Linking Words

is a new generation and new rules of life, which, unfortunately, cannot be changed.

Secondly

Linking Words

, it is undoubtedly true that a global cultural heritage ought to be saved for our future generations as well. In

order

Use synonyms

to increase a current society’s involvement in cultural activities and create a new audience for an

art

Use synonyms

direction, authorities have to provide some efficient policies, which can stimulate citizens to be engaged in the

art

Use synonyms

sphere. So,

for example

Linking Words

, the government can make cultural events more available for citizens for their attendance or decrease entry fees to museums and interactive theatres. In summary,

nevertheless

Linking Words

, in

order

Use synonyms

to maintain an interest in

art

Use synonyms

, every citizen ought to be involved in

this

Linking Words

process, which automatically improves people’s literacy and awareness.

akhmedova.mbSun May 12 2024

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task achievement

To enhance your essay further, aim to introduce specific examples or case studies that illustrate your points. This will provide concrete evidence to support your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

Consider varying your sentence structures more to add rhythm and interest to your writing, though the structure you have is generally clear and logical.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph clearly addresses a single main idea, using adequate supporting details. This practice strengthens the coherence of your essay.

task achievement

You've established a clear position throughout the essay, maintaining a consistent argument in response to the task.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is commendable.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, effectively framing your essay's arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

STEM fields (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics)
evolve
technological advancements
overshadowing
financial pressures
practical careers
digital entertainment
accessible
integrated
curricula
fostering
emotional intelligence
public art projects
engage
interactive

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Your opinion

Some people argue that immigrants should adopt the local culture when immigrating to a new country. An alternative view is that they can adapt to a new environment by establishing a minority community. Discuss these two views and give your opinion.

Some people think that there could be more benefits to society if more people study business than history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think government should spent money on languages that are dying and a few number of people uses them, some think this is a waste of resources. Discuss both views and tell what's your take on this issue.

More and more business meetings are taking place online. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

The leaders of most organisations tend to be older people.However, some argue that younger people tend to make better bosses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?