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Band 4.5

The dangers of smoking are well known, yet many people continue with this habit. What are the causes of this? How can we reduce smoking in society?

#dangers #people #habit #society
Smoking is one of the most insecure factors
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 health. Despite
this
 many
people
keen
Add a missing verb
are keen
show examples
 on
this
 bad habitude.
This
 essay will discuss two main causes of
such
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 in society and the measures to prevent
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. The key aspect of increasing smoking is
frequently
Correct article usage
the frequently
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influence
Correct article usage
the influence
show examples
 of stress in
a
Remove the article
apply
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daily life.
Furthermore
, nicotine is contained in cigarettes
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to
relaxation
Add an article
the relaxation
a relaxation
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 of
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
 organism. IN course of time, it became
addictive
Correct article usage
an addictive
show examples
 condition to
relief
Replace the word
relieve
show examples
 the stress. Most
people
 who smoke think that smoking is the best way to deal with
depression
Correct article usage
the depression
show examples
 they faced every day.
For example
,
people
 who work in big companies smoke during the day to reduce the nervousness of their busy schedule. Another key factor is an
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
show examples
 surrounding, which
exert
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exerts
show examples
 pressure
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 young minds and
force
Correct subject-verb agreement
forces
show examples
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
 smoke to prove their coolness.
In addition
, some
people
 consider that smoking can raise the status of a person
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 peers.
However
, there are promising solutions
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 problem.
Firstly
, the government should implement
additional
Add an article
an additional
show examples
 tax on cigarettes. If the authorities raise the price of cigarettes,
then
people
 will start buying less of them.
Secondly
, there should be an age limit for smokers.
As a result
 , if
this
 is established, the number of young smokers will decrease , because
people
 under the age of 18 cannot get it. Another way to improve the situation is to develop anti-smoking campaigns , which should make
people
 face the consequences of
such
 a bad experience. In conclusion, there are many factors that lead to the promotion of smoking, all
those
Change preposition
of those
show examples
 that cause significant harm to health.
However
, it
also
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 particular solutions for
this
 issue. I recommend
to draw
Change the verb form
drawing
show examples
 the attention of the government to what a major problem is smoking
Submitted by rruwwwa on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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