Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
I would argue in
this
essay that there is no necessary correlation between the average working time
of a country and the economic success level of
it and the irrationalities of the comparison made Change preposition
apply
in
Change preposition
on
this
topic.
The economic standard of different nations and their working hours of labor
forces are not proportional at all; the true reason lying behind the working Change the spelling
labour
time
and the multiple factors leading to economic development compel the claim to be ridiculous. Before deciding whether an element contributes to an outcome, one should first
see past the truth causing the element—on
some cases, the long working Change preposition
in
time
in a country may directly reflect the fact that its labor
forces Change the spelling
labour
may be
not as developed as that in other Correct your spelling
maybe
countries
. That means they have to increase their working hours because they are not as efficient as those who are technologically prosperous in terms of the
productivity. Correct article usage
apply
Such
situation
explains why Correct article usage
a situation
time
length cannot be a measurement in judging the
economic success. Whereas the booming of the economy is Correct article usage
apply
also
decided by many other cruxes like market-oriented industry, good transportation and the performance of securities, etc.; they are much more directly linked with the money flows and commercial situations and countries
depend
these types of factors more to develop their financial conditions no matter how long their citizens are working during their vocational life.
Before scrutinizing whether Add the preposition
ondepend
countries
with or without long average working time
can be compared in terms of their economic success, we must admit that it is not doable. For any
appraisal to happen, one must Correct your spelling
an
first
define the parameter in order to make a system of differentiation. Just what is the quantifying standard we consider to judge the economic successfulness
of a country? Are we measuring the total Replace the word
success
GDP
or per-capital GDP
of a nation? Or are we verifying the CPI,
or the amount of importation Remove the comma
apply
of
exportation? Correct your spelling
or
Countries
may largely vary in different criteria, and even if there are confirmed statistics, the conclusion is still unjustifiable because they cannot objectively reflect whether they are truly
“economically successful”—the total Replace the adverb
true
GDP
may be high because of a large population, and a higher per-capital GDP
may hide the wealth disparity inside; other measurements may still have problems like this
. Though some countries
may be manifest in
the distance of economic prosperity, Change preposition
apply
like
the distance between the US and Cuba, there are great difficulties out there to be considered when comparing the Replace the word
as
countries
that are not so different in their economic development; subjectivity prevails.
In conclusion, it is certainly simple-minded to add working time
into the consideration of whether countries
are more economically successful or not; nations are also
certainly hard to be measured with the obscured definition of “economic success”.Submitted by gzhang_02 on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite