IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The shortage of housing in big cities can cause severe consequences. Only government action can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#shortage #cities #consequences #government #action
Since
Change preposition
For
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a number of ,years population from the countryside
move
Wrong verb form
has moved
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 to
big
Correct article usage
a big
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 metropolis for various reasons and ,
consequently
 capital center
have
Wrong verb form
has had
show examples
a shortage of housing. In
this
 case, the national government is the only one to tackle
this
 issue. I
am
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fully
agreed
Wrong verb form
agree
show examples
 that the
governer
Correct your spelling
government
show examples
has the main responsibility to have sufficient housing in commercial cities to prevent unnecessary side
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
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. The main reason that causes the shortage of housing in downtown is increasing the population day by day who migrate from
Add an article
the
show examples
countryside to work as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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daily workers ,especially in
construction
Correct article usage
the construction
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sectors
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
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 and many industries. society
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 moving to
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
which
offer
Change the verb form
offers
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greater employment and a higher standard of living.
For instance
 , most of the city's life can access the internet , mobile banking, and
convenient
Correct article usage
a convenient
show examples
 transportation system.
As a result
 , accommodation places are more and more demanding significantly for blue-collar workers who can only afford
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a low budget house
low budget houses
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low budget
Add a hyphen
low-budget
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houses .
Additionally
 , several side effects
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been occurred
such
 as
water
 shortage and electricity getting by hourly.
Moreover
 , accommodation and domestic
water
 supply cannot be separated in urban life. If the population and urban
water
 system ratio are not equal, there will be many consequences related to people's health problems ,
for example
 , people cannot use sufficient
water
 amount for their
water
 and sanitation purposes. Another particular problem of big city life is having good practices and
management
Correct article usage
a management
show examples
 system
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 household waste. If the governments cannot control daily waste, the diseases of
diaherra
Correct your spelling
diarrhoea
and flu can be spread easily. In
this
 case, people have to spend extra charges for their health.
To prevent
Fix the infinitive
Prevent
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 the problem mentioned above, only the head of the nation can
be solved
Wrong verb form
solve
show examples
 the problem because they have the
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
to support
to be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a developed country and it requires a huge amount of money to build sufficient housing in the country’s gateway cities
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • public housing
  • overcrowding
  • affordable housing
  • rent control
  • property market
  • infrastructure development
  • sustainable living
  • rural-urban migration
  • real estate regulations
  • zoning laws
  • bureaucracy
  • gentrification
  • economic disparity
  • housing policy
  • social welfare
What to do next:
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