IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some of today's schools insist that all students have their own laptop computer in class to assist in their education. Do you feel that this would be an advantage to student's education or would it be an unnecessary complication?

#schools #students #laptop #computer #class #education #advantage #student #complication
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Many schools
decides
Change the verb form
decide
show examples
 the best
was
Correct your spelling
way
show examples
 to learn in
class
 is with a
computer
.
This
 fact has some advantages and disadvantages
,
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apply
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 because personally there is
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
perfect
Correct article usage
a perfect
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 form to teach at school. When I was young I
Add a missing verb
did have
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have
Wrong verb form
had
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not
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no
show examples
computer
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a computer
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 or tablet in
class
, I studied with books and
blackboard
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a blackboard
show examples
 only. I learned to
use
 a
computer
 too
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but in
informatic
Correct your spelling
informatics
show examples
class
.
This
 method was
succesed
Correct your spelling
succeed
suggested
. Nowadays,
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 is everywhere because we consider it as a tool,
therefore
 it is normal that we can find it in
class
. Talking about advantages we have to mention
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of
posibilities
Correct your spelling
possibilities
teaching
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of teaching
show examples
 with media
resourses
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resources
such
 as videos, graphics, or
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
.
The
Correct article usage
Tecnology
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tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
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 us
a
Correct article usage
apply
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endless
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ways to improve our educative system.
Other
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Another
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 advantage is to
prepair
Correct your spelling
prepare
 children to
use
 the
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 in each area of their life. I do not know what method is better but I think the society
depend
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
show examples
of
Change the preposition
on
show examples
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 many things. So teaching with laptop
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 could be bad
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 young people. Youngers
use
 the
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 like the mobile phone a lot of hours per day. They spend their time with video games, computers, etc. So I think that
obligate
Wrong verb form
obligating
show examples
 them to
use
 these objects at school too would not be the best choice. Each day the
adiction
Correct your spelling
addiction
 of people
is increase
Change the verb form
is increasing
show examples
 and maybe we must help them and
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
avoid the
use
 of it at schools. In conclusion, assisting the education in
class
 with computers is a relevant
resourse
Correct your spelling
resource
 but it could be dangerous because there is a problem with the time which society spend using all of it.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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