IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some of today's schools insist that all students have their own laptop computer in class to assist in their education. Do you feel that this would be an advantage to student's education or would it be an unnecessary complication?

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Introduction
Many schools
decides
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decide
show examples
 the best
was
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way
show examples
 to learn in
class
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 is with a
computer
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.
This
Linking Words
 fact has some advantages and disadvantages
,
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apply
show examples
 because personally there is
not
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no
show examples
perfect
Correct article usage
a perfect
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 form to teach at school.
Body paragraph 1
When I was young I
Add a missing verb
did have
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have
Wrong verb form
had
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not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
Use synonyms
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
 or tablet in
class
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, I studied with books and
blackboard
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a blackboard
show examples
 only. I learned to
use
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 a
computer
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 too
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but in
informatic
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informatics
show examples
class
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.
This
Linking Words
 method was
succesed
Correct your spelling
succeed
suggested
.
Body paragraph 2
Nowadays,
Use synonyms
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 is everywhere because we consider it as a tool,
therefore
Linking Words
 it is normal that we can find it in
class
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.
Body paragraph 3
Talking about advantages we have to mention
amount
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the amount
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 of
posibilities
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possibilities
teaching
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of teaching
show examples
 with media
resourses
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resources
such
Linking Words
 as videos, graphics, or
internet
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the internet
show examples
.
Body paragraph 4
The
Correct article usage
Tecnology
show examples
Use synonyms
tecnology
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technology
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 us
a
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apply
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endless
of
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apply
show examples
ways to improve our educative system.
Body paragraph 5
Other
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Another
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 advantage is to
prepair
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prepare
 children to
use
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 the
Use synonyms
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 in each area of their life.
Body paragraph 6
I do not know what method is better but I think the society
depend
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
show examples
of
Change the preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 many things. So teaching with laptop
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computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 could be bad
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 young people.
Body paragraph 7
Youngers
use
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 the
Use synonyms
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 like the mobile phone a lot of hours per day. They spend their time with video games, computers, etc. So I think that
obligate
Wrong verb form
obligating
show examples
 them to
use
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 these objects at school too would not be the best choice.
Body paragraph 8
Each day the
adiction
Correct your spelling
addiction
 of people
is increase
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is increasing
show examples
 and maybe we must help them and
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
avoid the
use
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 of it at schools.
Conclusion
In conclusion, assisting the education in
class
Use synonyms
 with computers is a relevant
resourse
Correct your spelling
resource
 but it could be dangerous because there is a problem with the time which society spend using all of it.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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