IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Global warming is one of the most serious issues that the world facing today. What are the causes of global warming and what measures can government and individuals take to tackle the issue.

#world #measures #government #individuals
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, public
health
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 paid much more attention by society. Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that nations have
responsibility
Add an article
a responsibility
the responsibility
show examples
 to implement rules of
Use synonyms
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
food
Use synonyms
. The others claim that
people
Use synonyms
 should not be deprived of freely choosing what they want to eat. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I hold the latter and illustrate my reason.
People
Use synonyms
 expect that they should decide their own
food
Use synonyms
 they would eat because everyone has different preferences for
food
Use synonyms
. Once their diets are decided by others, they couldn’t be satisfied.
For example
Linking Words
, for vegetarians, more meat intake may be much healthier for them.
However
Linking Words
, in fact, the way is opposite
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their daily diets.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is not a reasonable suggestion for them. On top of that, unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
 like junk
food
Use synonyms
 can bring energy to
people
Use synonyms
 who feel exhausted. In most cases, high calories
food
Use synonyms
 like hamburgers contains high protein and promotes
to refresh
Change the verb form
refreshing
show examples
 their minds. With regards to the reason why governments need to
strength
Replace the word
strengthen
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 security, without restrictions, manufacturers which are profit-minded will abuse
food
Use synonyms
 addictive to improve tastes and sell out of date
food
Use synonyms
 for gaining revenue. It will have a negative effect
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 customers’ physical
health
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, governments should introduce strict laws to deter
these behaviour
Change the determiner
this behaviour
show examples
. At the same time,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
health
Use synonyms
 is protected. In conclusion, whereas freely selecting
food
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 eat can meet different preferences of
food
Use synonyms
 and gain higher energy, implementing rules about
food
Use synonyms
 can guarantee public
health
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by youhua94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • burning of fossil fuels
  • greenhouse gases
  • trap heat
  • atmosphere
  • deforestation
  • carbon dioxide
  • greenhouse effect
  • industrial activities
  • agricultural practices
  • carbon emissions
  • renewable energy
  • environmental regulations
  • energy efficiency
  • carbon footprint
  • lifestyle changes
  • public transportation
  • recycling
  • conserving energy
  • LED bulbs
  • plant-based diet
  • raising awareness
  • sustainable practices
  • international cooperation
  • Paris Agreement
  • mitigate
What to do next:
Look at other essays: