Some people think that in order to produce a happy society,it is necessary to ensure that there is only a small difference between the earning of the richest and poorest.

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Many individuals believe that in order to
increasing
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increase
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manufacturere
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manufacturing
crucial
Correct article usage
a crucial
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role
a
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in a
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happy
society
Use synonyms
.
In
Linking Words
addition
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addition,
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it is important
ensure
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to ensure
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that there
only
Add a missing verb
is only
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a little
separate
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separation
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between
make
Wrong verb form
making
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money
the
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between the
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richest humans and
poorest
Correct article usage
the poorest
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humans.
While
Linking Words
there
provide
Verb problem
are
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more benefits for
society
Use synonyms
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
, however
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, I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
point of
views
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view
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. From one perspective, there are several advantages of producing
on
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in
show examples
society
Use synonyms
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
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people
Use synonyms
's
lifestyle
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lifestyles
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and
create
Wrong verb form
creating
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a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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new jobs.
Moreover
Linking Words
,it
is help
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helps
show examples
equality between
richest
Correct article usage
the richest
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and
poorest
Correct article usage
the poorest
show examples
.To explain,
if
Correct word choice
apply
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building new
factors
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in the overcrowded regions
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
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new jobs for young generations.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
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many young
people
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become stable
works
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workers
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and reduce poverty . Because they help financial for their families and it
contribute
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contributes
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elemante
Correct your spelling
element
eliminate
difference between richest and poorest.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent statistics nowadays many companies
extended
Wrong verb form
extend
show examples
their employees in
this
Linking Words
case
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
new jobs and help decreasing unemployment rates among teenagers.
Therefore
Linking Words
, raising produce
factors
Use synonyms
offer
Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
show examples
more opportunities for
humans lifestyle
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human lifestyles
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. From
other perspective
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another perspective
other perspectives
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, increasing produce
factors
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
society
Use synonyms
make more
benefits
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefit
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richest
Correct article usage
the richest
show examples
people
Use synonyms
than
poorest
Correct article usage
the poorest
show examples
people
Use synonyms
. That
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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pressure poorest
people
Use synonyms
and
Correct article usage
a lost
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lost
Replace the word
loss
show examples
equality
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of equality
show examples
.
That is
Linking Words
,wealthy individuals
strat
Correct your spelling
start
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own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
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business
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businesses
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get
Correct word choice
and get
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employees for their organizations.
As a consequence
Linking Words
,they use
cheap
Correct article usage
a cheap
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workforce
Fix the infinitive
to
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make big
profit
Fix the agreement mistake
profits
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from employees but they get only salary in
this
Linking Words
case become gain wealth.
For instance
Linking Words
, big
factors
Use synonyms
owners
very
Add a missing verb
are very
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rich than staffs because they make more profit. In conclusion, increasing
produce
Replace the word
production
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factors
Use synonyms
provide opportunities
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.But it is not maybe beneficial
equality
Change preposition
for equality
show examples
both
Change preposition
for both
show examples
groups .
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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Language Clarity
Work on clarity in expressing your ideas. Sometimes, your sentences are hard to follow due to grammatical errors and unconventional phrasing. Simplify your language for greater impact.
Structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph.
Use of Examples
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. Examples help to illustrate your points and make your essay more convincing.
Understanding of Topic
You have touched upon the critical discussion points regarding the impact of income disparity on society, showing a good grasp of the subject.
Analytical Skills
Your essay demonstrates effort to link the production factors to societal well-being, indicating an understanding of complex socioeconomic dynamics.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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