Some people think that in order to produce a happy society,it is necessary to ensure that there is only a small difference between the earning of the richest and poorest.

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Many individuals believe that in order to
increasing
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increase
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manufacturere
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manufacturing
crucial
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a crucial
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role
a
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in a
show examples
happy
society
.
In
addition
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addition,
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it is important
ensure
Add the particle
to ensure
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that there
only
Add a missing verb
is only
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a little
separate
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separation
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between
make
Wrong verb form
making
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money
the
Change preposition
between the
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richest humans and
poorest
Correct article usage
the poorest
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humans.
While
there
provide
Verb problem
are
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more benefits for
society
however
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, however
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, I partly agree with
this
point of
views
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view
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. From one perspective, there are several advantages of producing
on
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in
show examples
society
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
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people
's
lifestyle
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lifestyles
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and
create
Wrong verb form
creating
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a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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new jobs.
Moreover
,it
is help
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helps
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equality between
richest
Correct article usage
the richest
show examples
and
poorest
Correct article usage
the poorest
show examples
.To explain,
if
Correct word choice
apply
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building new
factors
in the overcrowded regions
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
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new jobs for young generations.
As a
result
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result,
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many young
people
become stable
works
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workers
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and reduce poverty . Because they help financial for their families and it
contribute
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contributes
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elemante
Correct your spelling
element
eliminate
difference between richest and poorest.
For example
,
according to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent statistics nowadays many companies
extended
Wrong verb form
extend
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their employees in
this
case
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
new jobs and help decreasing unemployment rates among teenagers.
Therefore
, raising produce
factors
offer
Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
show examples
more opportunities for
humans lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
human lifestyles
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. From
other perspective
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another perspective
other perspectives
show examples
, increasing produce
factors
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
society
make more
benefits
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefit
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richest
Correct article usage
the richest
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people
than
poorest
Correct article usage
the poorest
show examples
people
. That
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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pressure poorest
people
and
Correct article usage
a lost
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lost
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loss
show examples
equality
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of equality
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.
That is
,wealthy individuals
strat
Correct your spelling
start
show examples
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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get
Correct word choice
and get
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employees for their organizations.
As a consequence
,they use
cheap
Correct article usage
a cheap
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workforce
Fix the infinitive
to
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make big
profit
Fix the agreement mistake
profits
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from employees but they get only salary in
this
case become gain wealth.
For instance
, big
factors
owners
very
Add a missing verb
are very
show examples
rich than staffs because they make more profit. In conclusion, increasing
produce
Replace the word
production
show examples
factors
provide opportunities
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
society
.But it is not maybe beneficial
equality
Change preposition
for equality
show examples
both
Change preposition
for both
show examples
groups .
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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Language Clarity
Work on clarity in expressing your ideas. Sometimes, your sentences are hard to follow due to grammatical errors and unconventional phrasing. Simplify your language for greater impact.
Structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph.
Use of Examples
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. Examples help to illustrate your points and make your essay more convincing.
Understanding of Topic
You have touched upon the critical discussion points regarding the impact of income disparity on society, showing a good grasp of the subject.
Analytical Skills
Your essay demonstrates effort to link the production factors to societal well-being, indicating an understanding of complex socioeconomic dynamics.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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