IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, people have become entirely busy and they have to spend a lot of
time
Use synonyms
 at work.
This
Linking Words
 lifestyle leads to spending less
time
Use synonyms
 with family as well for various hobbies. I think keeping the balance of the activities in our lives has been more difficult. Definitely,
this
Linking Words
 way of living has its specific positive and negative aspects which will be discussed in
this
Linking Words
 essay. The economic situation of countries has been sophisticated which makes almost all citizens
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
work hard and
also
Linking Words
 for a long
time
Use synonyms
 to afford their lives and the needs of their families. All adult members of families have to spend much
time
Use synonyms
 at work
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
at least five days
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a week which result in being tired on weekends
therefore
Linking Words
, they place less
time
Use synonyms
 for entertainment. everyone should make effort to make
time
Use synonyms
 for spiritual things to cover
this
Linking Words
 drawback. They can earn plenty of money which is the major advantage of working.
However
Linking Words
, Leaving
time
Use synonyms
 with children and for recreational activities is vital for everyone which causes them to lift their spirits
although
Linking Words
 for someone their jobs mean all their goals. I think the disadvantages of working for long hours outweigh the advantages. in conclusion, having a balance between working and having spare
time
Use synonyms
 is really essential. extreme working cause to health problems and expenses on the cure of them.
Submitted by saeedforoghi538 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
What to do next:
Look at other essays: