some people say that it is responsibility of the individual to save money for their own care after they retire. Do you agree or disagree?

long life expectancy has increased in the community because of some medical treatments and the invention of technical devices ,which help the public at home and in industry .

Therefore

Linking Words

government think that the retirement age should be increased significantly.I disagree with

this

Linking Words

view and I am going to reflect reasons for

this

Linking Words

in my essay. There are several reasons for government can not increase the evacuation life.

First

Linking Words

and

furthermore

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

humans are living a long period, a long growth expectancy does not mean high productivity,

for instance

Linking Words

, the population may gain a lot of diseases throughout their heart ,due to challenges of growth and pressure of work

as a result

Linking Words

they are not able to effort effectively when they are old and

this

Linking Words

influences the prospect of the company . Another downside of increasing the pension life is that impacts our society negatively

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because grandparenting is the most important part of the upbringing and nursing of the young generation. Grandparents are likely to be

second

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parents to instruct children in being aware of the rights and wrongs in every walk of activity ,

in addition

Linking Words

, children have clothing relationships with their grandparents who always be together with them when parents are busy with their job and family burdens.

Secondly

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, for many evacuations is the beginning of a new lifestyle with less pressure and more entertainment when people want to fulfil their lifelong dreams. The elderly population are prone to be together with their family and want to get affection from their children.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they do prefer to travel and discover new things for their later new activity which after pullout maturity. To sum up .

Although

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the increase of the evacuation maturity would be good for the budget of authority I strongly believe that

this

Linking Words

has a negative impact not only on wholesome elderly nations but

also

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it will affect society.

uluga2002

May 24, 2022

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

310 words

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some people say that it is responsibility of the individual to save money for their own care after they retire. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think is a positive or a negative development?

Completing a university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting exercise and developing soft skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the art and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country , while others believe the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

science is considered to enhance people's living standars. Do you agree or disagree