some people say that it is responsibility of the individual to save money for their own care after they retire. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #responsibility #money #care

long life expectancy has increased in the community because of some medical treatments and the invention of technical devices ,which help the public at home and in industry .

Therefore

government think that the retirement age should be increased significantly.I disagree with

this

view and I am going to reflect reasons for

this

in my essay. There are several reasons for government can not increase the evacuation life.

First

and

furthermore

although

humans are living a long period, a long growth expectancy does not mean high productivity,

for instance

, the population may gain a lot of diseases throughout their heart ,due to challenges of growth and pressure of work

as a result

they are not able to effort effectively when they are old and

this

influences the prospect of the company . Another downside of increasing the pension life is that impacts our society negatively

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because grandparenting is the most important part of the upbringing and nursing of the young generation. Grandparents are likely to be

second

parents to instruct children in being aware of the rights and wrongs in every walk of activity ,

in addition

, children have clothing relationships with their grandparents who always be together with them when parents are busy with their job and family burdens.

Secondly

, for many evacuations is the beginning of a new lifestyle with less pressure and more entertainment when people want to fulfil their lifelong dreams. The elderly population are prone to be together with their family and want to get affection from their children.

Moreover

, they do prefer to travel and discover new things for their later new activity which after pullout maturity. To sum up .

Although

the increase of the evacuation maturity would be good for the budget of authority I strongly believe that

this

has a negative impact not only on wholesome elderly nations but

also

it will affect society.

Submitted by uluga2002 on Tue May 24 2022

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

310 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people say that it is responsibility of the individual to save money for their own care after they retire. Do you agree or disagree?

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Some people say that increasing price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries, students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?