IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries the number of people aged 15 and younger is increasing. What are the present effects of this trend? How will it affect the world in the future?

A substantial rise in the
number
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 of people aged 15 and below in many
countries
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 has significant impacts on societies,
for example
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,
growth
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 in an educational business and
children
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 related business. A large
number
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 of
children
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 in many
countries
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 clearly correlated to economic
growth
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 and the wealth of people in those
countries
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.
Also
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, it will cause a large
number
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 of workers for communities in the near
future
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, in my opinion.
Firstly
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, the current effect of many
children
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 in societies is
growth
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 in educational related firms,
for instance
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, nurseries, schools, tutoring institutions,
children
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's books and
children
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's activities.
Secondly
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,
children
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-related businesses
also
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 increase in the
number
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 and diversity,
for example
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, toys and clothes, foods, activities and entertainment.
This
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 is illustrated by many inventions of kids’ activities
such
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 as swimming classes for babies, science camps, cooking classes, painting classes and dancing schools.
Children
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 these days grew up with more opportunities than in the past and with the advances in technology and social media which will be beneficial for them in the
future
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. A rise in the
number
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 of
children
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 will cause an increase in the adult population in the near
future
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. If there are many
children
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 at present, there will be many adults soon.In my opinion,
this
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 will be beneficial to the world since
children
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 these days are exposed to unlimited knowledge in the world and they are opened to new ideas and creativities, with the right support from their parents and their educational institutes, offspring will grow up to be quality world’s citizens, which will play an imperative part in developing their
countries
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. In conclusion, from my personal view, an increase in the
number
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 of
children
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 beneficially affect the world with
growth
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 in many businesses and it will affect
countries
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 in the
future
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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