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Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people
Nowadays,
museums
 become a vital activity for some particular
people
. Several
museums
 tend to charge for accession. Meanwhile, in
others
Add a comma
,others
show examples
 there is no payment required. In
this
 essay, I will discuss that charging
people
 for admission to
museums
 has fewer benefits but has an adverse effect individually.
To begin
 with, charging
people
 to
access
museums
 could have some advantages
such
 as the outcome from these charges could invest in
museums
. To illustrate, spending the profit money on paying salaries of employment
such
 as security staff, purchasing their equipment and cleaning even though the design or some facilities.
As a result
 of that, the museum will be nut and clean with totally secure from anything, and
this
 will attract more
people
 to come even if they do not have any interest in art or painting and consider it a new activity worth paying their attention to.
However
,
people
 that cannot afford these charges, ultimately cannot
access
 it, which means forbidden accession which led to a lack of knowledge about
this
 kind of thing. What is more, art has less chance to expand and be known among majorities of
people
.
Furthermore
, some
people
 might hate the idea of getting
access
 to
museums
 that would charge them even if they are interested
Correct your spelling
in
itin
Change preposition
in itin
show examples
, and
this
 can get terrible results.
For instance
, nowadays,
people
 barely have a great living due to the high prices of food and clothes and many other expenses, and if we force them to pay money to
access
 someplace just for entertainment or curiosity, it would fade the desire for it.
Hence
,
access
 free to
museums
 will definitely attract many
people
,
in particular
 kids. Due to that, there is a huge chance to discover many talents in kids or adults,
thus
 enhancing the quality of art in
museums
. To sum up, despite, there are many advantages of charging
people
 for accession to
museums
, the merits outweigh the benefits.
Submitted by testtaker1 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
What to do next:
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