Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Both huge and tiny
animals
are essential Use synonyms
component
Fix the agreement mistake
components
to
our environment. Wild Change preposition
of
animals
are significant for Use synonyms
the
variety of reasons and in Correct article usage
a
this
Linking Words
essay
I will explain my point of view.
First allAdd a comma
essay,
all
, people’s life would not Remove the redundancy
apply
exists
without natural species Change the verb form
exist
due to
their role in ecosystem function. Wild fauna is necessary to keep the Linking Words
food
chain in place and Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
this
fact maintain ecological stability. Each organism has Linking Words
it
unique place in Change the pronoun
its
Use synonyms
food
chain and helps to contribute ecosystem in the right way. Add an article
the food
Balanced
ecosystem allows us to get oxygen, receive enough Correct article usage
A balanced
food
to eat and Use synonyms
life
in clean fresh air. In case when Replace the word
live
animals
start to be endangered or decrease in numbers, both Use synonyms
environment
and social impact of our Earth suffer from Replace the word
environmental
this
issue. As an example, cities that are not located in natural areas or do not have them Linking Words
near
(Correct your spelling
nearby
forest
, lakes, Fix the agreement mistake
forests
mountain
) often complain Fix the agreement mistake
mountains
on
air pollution and people do not have access to organic Change preposition
about
food
.
Use synonyms
Secondly
, wild Linking Words
animals
become an element of modern medicine. Some Use synonyms
destination
, use vitamins and ingredients from unharmed species. Some animal’s nutrients are used to cure even harmful diseases Fix the agreement mistake
destinations
as
cancer. One Correct quantifier usage
such as
of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
example
can be Traditional Chinese Medicine Change to a plural noun
examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
apply
more than 30 Change the verb form
applies
number of
wild Correct quantifier usage
apply
animals
for human Use synonyms
treatments
, including snakes, tigers Fix the agreement mistake
treatment
or
black bears. Correct word choice
and
Nevertheless
, because of Linking Words
this
“traditional treatment”, many wild Linking Words
animals
in China are put Use synonyms
in
risk.
In conclusion, from all these elements which I mentioned, wild Change preposition
at
animals
are significantly necessary for human life on the Earth. If wild species disappear, with time homo Use synonyms
sapiens
existence will be in danger as well.Change noun form
sapiens'
sapien's
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Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction does not clearly present the writer's opinion or a clear overview of the essay's structure. The body paragraphs lack a clear and logical progression of ideas.
Task Achievement
The essay partially addresses the task by discussing the importance of wild animals for the environment and human life. However, the essay lacks depth and fails to thoroughly discuss both views before presenting the writer's opinion.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite