Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Both huge and tiny
animals
are essential
component
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components
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to
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of
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our environment. Wild
animals
are significant for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
variety of reasons and in
this
essay
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essay,
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I will explain my point of view. First all
all
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apply
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, people’s life would not
exists
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exist
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without natural species
due to
their role in ecosystem function. Wild fauna is necessary to keep the
food
chain in place and
due to
this
fact maintain ecological stability. Each organism has
it
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its
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unique place in
food
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the food
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chain and helps to contribute ecosystem in the right way.
Balanced
Correct article usage
A balanced
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ecosystem allows us to get oxygen, receive enough
food
to eat and
life
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live
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in clean fresh air. In case when
animals
start to be endangered or decrease in numbers, both
environment
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environmental
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and social impact of our Earth suffer from
this
issue. As an example, cities that are not located in natural areas or do not have them
near
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nearby
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(
forest
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forests
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, lakes,
mountain
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mountains
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) often complain
on
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about
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air pollution and people do not have access to organic
food
.
Secondly
, wild
animals
become an element of modern medicine. Some
destination
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destinations
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, use vitamins and ingredients from unharmed species. Some animal’s nutrients are used to cure even harmful diseases
as
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such as
show examples
cancer. One
of
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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example
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examples
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can be Traditional Chinese Medicine
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
apply
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applies
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more than 30
number of
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apply
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wild
animals
for human
treatments
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treatment
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, including snakes, tigers
or
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and
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black bears.
Nevertheless
, because of
this
“traditional treatment”, many wild
animals
in China are put
in
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at
show examples
risk. In conclusion, from all these elements which I mentioned, wild
animals
are significantly necessary for human life on the Earth. If wild species disappear, with time homo
sapiens
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sapiens'
sapien's
show examples
existence will be in danger as well.
Submitted by maryanach12 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction does not clearly present the writer's opinion or a clear overview of the essay's structure. The body paragraphs lack a clear and logical progression of ideas.
Task Achievement
The essay partially addresses the task by discussing the importance of wild animals for the environment and human life. However, the essay lacks depth and fails to thoroughly discuss both views before presenting the writer's opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • conservation status
  • ecological significance
  • holistic approach
  • endangered species
  • natural heritage
  • unforeseen negative impacts
  • economically non-viable
  • prioritization
  • ecosystem balance
  • conservation efforts
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