IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many high street shops have gone out of business in recent years. Why do you think this has happened? Is it a positive or negative development?

#street #shops #business #years #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the present
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day
show examples
, it has been observed that a lot of vendors have shut down their respective shops and are left with no
work
.
This
 essay will discuss the reason behind
this
 and why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe it is a positive development. One of the main reasons contributing to
closing
Add an article
the closing
show examples
 of many high street shops is online shopping. In recent years there has been
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
substantial growth in the trend of online shopping. Most of the top brands are readily available on these shopping applications
such
 as Amazon, Flipkart and Snapdeal.
Additionally
,
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
marketting
Correct your spelling
marketing
 strategies
such
 as giving higher discounts and promotions have persuaded more buyers to purchase online rather than from the shopkeepers. To illustrate, in a study conducted in Delhi, many shops were closed down in Cannaught place which is
indeed
Replace the adverb
true
show examples
, famous for buying all the International brands, and the main factor leading to
this
 was
rise
Add an article
a rise
the rise
show examples
 in
trend
Correct article usage
the trend
show examples
 of online shopping.
Therefore
,
this
 trend has emerged on a high scale leading in the past years leading to
loss
Correct article usage
the loss
show examples
 of
work
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 many people.
On the other hand
, these
advancement
Replace the word
advances
show examples
 in technology has many positive aspects too.
Firstly
, through various websites, individuals can buy any item very easily and it is highly convenient as the delivery of the product is available at home.
Secondly
, the prices which they offer are
comparitively
Correct your spelling
comparatively
 cheaper in comparison to the shopping mall and street shop owners.
For instance
, nowadays Amazon has successfully provided
buisness
Correct your spelling
business
 opportunities to the local shopkeepers to sell their products online
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their website.
This
 has not only enhanced their
work
 but on the
counter
Correct your spelling
counterpart
show examples
part
Add a comma
,part
show examples
 it is beneficial for consumers
also
 as they are able to buy products at affordable prices.
Therefore
, it is a positive development which has benefitted both the sellers as well as buyers online . To conclude,
undoubtedbly
Correct your spelling
undoubtedly
 many of the shop owners have lost their
work
 in the recent years due to new trends in shopping.
However
, I firmly believe it is a positive development for a nation to progress in terms of technology and convenience.
Submitted by drvishal13 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: