• Successful sports professionals, such as football stars, earn much higher salaries than people in other important professions. Some people think this is unjustified and unfair. What is your own opinion.

#sports #professionals #football #stars #salaries #people #professions

•Successful sports professionals,

such

football

stars, earn much higher salaries than

people

in other important professions. Some

people

think

this

is unjustified and unfair. What is your own opinion

Change the punctuation

show examples

First

, no one would argue that

football

is a great source of

entartainment

Correct your spelling

entertainment

, and

entartaining

Correct your spelling

entertaining

is a great investment globally.

Foorballers

Correct your spelling

Footballers

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

always play an important role in helping

people

forget about their daily life stresses, for that

people

, unawarely, reward them by buying tickets

Change preposition

for

show examples

the matches they

attends

Change the verb form

attend

show examples

, buying sports costume even following their pages and accounts on different social platforms.

Thus

football

players would have a high income, for the enjoyments they provide to their fans.

Second

, in my opinion,

Although

footballers seem to earn

high

Correct article usage

a high

show examples

income, more than the effort they do,

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

, in fact, they are not able to play until they get retired.

Footbal

Correct your spelling

Football

,as a sport, needs high body abilities and skill performance, so hardly ever a

football

player

would able to play soccer over

fourty

Correct your spelling

forty

of his age.

In other words

football

player

Fix the agreement mistake

players

show examples

should be able to save money for the rest of their life.

Finally

football

clubs are big business projects

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

owned

Add a missing verb

are owned

show examples

by billionaires, and players are the main characters in the project.

Football

teams are not going to have lots of fans without big the big superstars playing for them, and Whenever a

football

club signs a contract with a

player

, they bear in mind to earn much more money from the contract than the amount of salary they give the

player

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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• Successful sports professionals, such as football stars, earn much higher salaries than people in other important professions. Some people think this is unjustified and unfair. What is your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace human in workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have positive or negative impact on society?

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think that it’s a waste of time. Discuss both sides of question!

As life expectancy is increasing, people work after retirement with pay. Alternatively, some people start to work at a young age. Are these positive or negative impacts?