IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Although nowadays people are reading News through internet, newspaper still remains of value. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #news #internet #newspaper #value
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These days,
newspaper
Add an article
the newspaper
show examples
 provides a lot of
information
 and everyone depends on
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 for getting any general
information
. Some people think that reading
news
 on social
media
 or our mobile phone is
excellent
Add an article
an excellent
show examples
 way to know about outsiders. But others considered
newspaper
 is more convenient.
Although
 social
media
 provides
every
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
information
 easily,
price
Correct article usage
the price
show examples
 of
Correct article usage
a newspaper
show examples
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 cannot be discarded. I
am completely agree
Change the verb form
completely agree
show examples
 with
this
 position and discuss my point of view
further
.
To begin
 with, reading
newspaper
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 helps to save money as we do not need to spend
amount
Add an article
the amount
an amount
show examples
 on buying a
newspaper
.
Furthermore
,
every
Correct quantifier usage
all
show examples
information
 about the world is easily available on social
media
. Along with it, it is convenient to
listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
show examples
 the
news
 by using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
 or any app.
For example
, there are multiple apps
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
accessible on
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and
plethora
Correct article usage
a plethora
show examples
 of sites which are free of cost.
Secondly
, there is no need to carry
newspaper
Correct article usage
a newspaper
show examples
 all the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
. People can read any update by using
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
.
Similarly
, they can highlight and search for any difficult word on the spot as well as
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can save the vocabulary for later use.
For example
, many
ilets
Correct your spelling
islets
pilots
 institutes or academies  give preference to
read
Wrong verb form
reading
show examples
news
 online.
This
 resulted in increasing band scores and
gather
Wrong verb form
gathering
show examples
 a lot of
information
.
On the other hand
,
newspaper
Correct article usage
a newspaper
show examples
 has
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own value. Individuals can read it easily and there are no eyesight
affects
Correct your spelling
effects
show examples
. As reading online
news
 can have
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 effect on our eyes.
In addition
, it is convenient for elders and they depend on it completely.
For example
,
old
Change preposition
in old
show examples
 age people cannot read
news
Correct article usage
the news
show examples
 on
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 because of eye problems.
Then
,
paper based
Add a hyphen
paper-based
show examples
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 are useful. To sum up, while
paper based
Add a hyphen
paper-based
show examples
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 are used by elders, reading
news
 online has other advantages. I think that reading
news
 on
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 has more
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 than its disadvantages.
Submitted by kaursandeep79561 on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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