IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think young people should be free to choose their job, while others believe that they should be realistic and think about their future. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is believed by some people that they ought to be sensible and serious about their upcoming life;
however
Linking Words
, others believe that they should be free to make choices about their
work
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. In my opinion, getting the
work
Use synonyms
 in which one is interested makes him/her more productive and efficient as they do everything from their heart. It is far more important to have a choice to do anything in life that an individual is interested in, as it makes them more productive, which in turn leads to better personal growth of a human being.
For example
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, people who
work
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 in the field of art are considered more passionate as compared to others,
such
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 as painters, as they
work
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 passionately and without any burden. Resultantly, working in a self-chosen job
instead
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 of being imposed on one helps an individual to stay concentrated. On the antithetical side, it is accepted that not all humans are mature enough to understand their choices sometimes and
as a result
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, they try to take advantage if they are allowed to make choices in their lives.
For instance
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, these days it's been seen that the majority of youngsters are bewildered about their careers
due to
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 the availability of too many options in their fields or others.
Consequently
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, the masses have to be serious about their
work
Use synonyms
 in their related fields. In conclusion, though it is necessary to have the freedom to choose the kind of
work
Use synonyms
 an individual wants to do,
nevertheless
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, the importance of being serious should not be overlooked, as it gives direction to the action of an individual.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states both sides of the argument and your opinion. This helps the reader understand your position right from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer linking words between your points and paragraphs. This will help the flow of your essay and make it easier to follow.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples that directly relate to the main points you make. This will enrich your arguments and show deeper understanding.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and shows a balanced view of the topic.
task achievement
You use relevant examples that illustrate your points about work choice and its impact on productivity.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • career trajectory
  • job satisfaction
  • employment prospects
  • financial stability
  • job security
  • economically viable
  • harnessing potential
  • labor market
  • vocational guidance
  • real-world demands
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