IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many criminals commit crimes as soon as they released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?

#criminals #crimes #prison
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Criminals who commit
crimes
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 were judged to stay in a
prison
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. After they were released from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prison
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, they commit
crimes
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 again as soon as they
free
Add a missing verb
are free
show examples
. In the following paragraphs, the supportive reasons and practical
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
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of
Change preposition
to
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this
Linking Words
 problem will be examined. Many criminals who commit
crimes
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 have different mental
health
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 from normal
people
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,
such
Linking Words
 as some of them think they should kill someone and
sacrified
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sacrificed
sacrifice
 them to
reborn
Add a missing verb
be reborn
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 with god in
after life
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afterlife
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many
people
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 after
released
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being released
show examples
 from the
prison
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 have many
thieve's
Correct your spelling
thieve
show examples
 skills with them because of
bad
Correct article usage
the bad
show examples
Use synonyms
envirounment
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environment
 in
prison
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 consists of many thieves have taught them
meny
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many
thieve's
Correct your spelling
thieves
show examples
 skills and
people
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 with un-normal mental
health
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 which can cause normal
people
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 to be bad
people
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 or accelerated bad
people
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 to be psycho in a short time. To tackle these problems, the government should have significant
development
Replace the word
develop
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 of the
Use synonyms
envirounment
Correct your spelling
environment
 inside the
prison
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such
Linking Words
 as
clear
Replace the word
clearing
show examples
 all drugs and illegal items in
prison
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, giving knowledge to
prisoners
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 for their
career
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careers
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 after they were released from the
prison
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, so they can have a legal job and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will never commit
crimes
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 again.
Additionally
Linking Words
, before
Add a missing verb
being released
show examples
released
Wrong verb form
releasing
show examples
prisoners
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 from the
prison
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 should have mental
health
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 verification for every
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prisoners
Change to a singular noun
prisoner
show examples
, to double-check that they have normal mental
health
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 to live
others
Change preposition
with others
show examples
. In conclusion, the problem that criminals commit
crimes
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 after they were released from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prison
Use synonyms
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
 from bad
Use synonyms
envirounment
Correct your spelling
environment
 in
prison
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 and individual mental
health
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 which can solve by
improve
Change the verb form
improving
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
envirounment
Correct your spelling
environment
 inside the
prison
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 and every
Use synonyms
prisoners
Change to a singular noun
prisoner
show examples
 must have mental
health
Use synonyms
 verification before they were released.
Submitted by detch2543 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Rehabilitation
  • Reintegrate
  • Social stigma
  • Recidivism
  • Criminal records
  • Ex-offender
  • Associations
  • Comprehensive
  • Workforce
  • Mentoring
  • Incentivize
  • Stigmatize
  • Subsidies
  • Legitimate
What to do next:
Look at other essays: