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Band 3

More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problem does this cause? What do you think are some possible solutions?

#people #countries #cars #first #time
Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
people
 always find the way that they have the most
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
,
such
 as
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 their own
cars
. Many
population
Change to a plural noun
populations
show examples
 in developing
cities
 want to have their own
first
car
, but it follows by many
problems
. The following paragraphs will examine the supportive reasons and provide some practical solutions
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the problem
cause
Change the form of the verb
caused
show examples
from
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apply
show examples
many
people
 will
purchasing
Wrong verb form
purchase
show examples
 their own
first
car
. Lots of population in developing
cities
 want to have their own
first
car
 will
cause
 the problem of
traffic
congestion
 because the
number
 of
cars
 on the road are increased.
Moreover
,
air
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
 will be increased from a lot
number
 of
cars
 in
traffic
congestion
. To tackle these
problems
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should have significant
develop
Replace the word
development
show examples
 in public transportation to invite their
people
 to use the public transportation than purchasing their own
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 to save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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money, increase
Correct article usage
the government's
show examples
government's
Change noun form
government
show examples
 revenue, reduce
traffic
congestion
, and reduce
air
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
.
In addition
, expanding the industrial areas
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
outside the
cities
 can reduce the
traffic
congestion
 and
air
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
 in developing
cities
 at the same time. In conclusion, the
problems
 that many
population
Change to a plural noun
populations
show examples
 in developing
cities
 want to have their own
first
car
 will
cause
 more
traffic
congestion
 and more
air
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
 because
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
cars
 are
incresed
Correct your spelling
increased
, and these
problems
 can solve by improving public transportation and expanding industrial area outside the central
cities
 to reduce
traffic
congestion
 and
air
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
cause
 by increasing the
number
 of
cars
 from the
people
 who want to
purchasing
Change the verb form
purchase
show examples
 their own
first
cars
.
Submitted by detch2543 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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