IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problem does this cause? What do you think are some possible solutions?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
people
Use synonyms
 always find the way that they have the most
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
,
such
Linking Words
 as
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 their own
cars
Use synonyms
. Many
population
Change to a plural noun
populations
show examples
 in developing
cities
Use synonyms
 want to have their own
Linking Words
first
Use synonyms
car
Use synonyms
, but it follows by many
problems
Use synonyms
. The following paragraphs will examine the supportive reasons and provide some practical solutions
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the problem
Use synonyms
cause
Change the form of the verb
caused
show examples
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many
people
Use synonyms
 will
purchasing
Wrong verb form
purchase
show examples
 their own
Linking Words
first
Use synonyms
car
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
Lots of population in developing
cities
Use synonyms
 want to have their own
Linking Words
first
Use synonyms
car
Use synonyms
 will
cause
Use synonyms
 the problem of
traffic
Use synonyms
congestion
Use synonyms
 because the
number
Use synonyms
 of
cars
Use synonyms
 on the road are increased.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
air
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
 will be increased from a lot
number
Use synonyms
 of
cars
Use synonyms
 in
traffic
Use synonyms
congestion
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
To tackle these
problems
Use synonyms
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should have significant
develop
Replace the word
development
show examples
 in public transportation to invite their
people
Use synonyms
 to use the public transportation than purchasing their own
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 to save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
money, increase
Correct article usage
the government's
show examples
government's
Change noun form
government
show examples
 revenue, reduce
traffic
Use synonyms
congestion
Use synonyms
, and reduce
air
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
.
In addition
Linking Words
, expanding the industrial areas
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
outside the
cities
Use synonyms
 can reduce the
traffic
Use synonyms
congestion
Use synonyms
 and
air
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
 in developing
cities
Use synonyms
 at the same time.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the
problems
Use synonyms
 that many
population
Change to a plural noun
populations
show examples
 in developing
cities
Use synonyms
 want to have their own
Linking Words
first
Use synonyms
car
Use synonyms
 will
cause
Use synonyms
 more
traffic
Use synonyms
congestion
Use synonyms
 and more
air
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
 because
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
cars
Use synonyms
 are
incresed
Correct your spelling
increased
, and these
problems
Use synonyms
 can solve by improving public transportation and expanding industrial area outside the central
cities
Use synonyms
 to reduce
traffic
Use synonyms
congestion
Use synonyms
 and
air
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
cause
Use synonyms
 by increasing the
number
Use synonyms
 of
cars
Use synonyms
 from the
people
Use synonyms
 who want to
purchasing
Change the verb form
purchase
show examples
 their own
Linking Words
first
Use synonyms
cars
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • carbon emissions
  • air pollution
  • climate change
  • fuel prices
  • imported oil
  • road maintenance
  • public transportation
  • economic inequality
  • societal divide
What to do next:
Look at other essays: