IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#cultures #technology
With some traditional cultures declining along with the advancement of
technology
, whether the development of
technology
 has a negative impact on our life has become a topic of widespread debate. Personally, I am inclined to the view that
technology
 plays a pivotal role in promoting our valuable
culture
 and improving our standard of living. As for our
culture
, it is an inevitable trend that modern digital
technology
 is being used to revitalise traditional arts. One striking example is non-fungible tokens (NFTs). With
this
 novel blockchain
technology
, an original piece of traditional art – be it a piece of music, a painting, or
poem
Correct article usage
a poem
show examples
, can be divided and sold to multiple individuals. While in the past traditional arts were hardly accessible, now NFT can make traditional arts available to local and diverse communities. With the help of the Internet and social media,
technology
 has brought traditional
culture
 to a wider audience.
Hence
,
technology
 can be an effective way to promote and preserve traditional history and wisdom. As for our life, it is undeniable that
technology
 and the Internet
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 dramatically increased our standard of living and
this
 trend certainly will not cease. With artificial intelligence and cloud technologies
ever present
Add a hyphen
ever-present
show examples
, scientists can better use data to enhance our lives, and our health. In fact, the advancements have greatly improved our healthcare system. Particularly, during the Covid-19 pandemic, it is these technologies that have assisted governments to contain the pandemic more effectively. Without advanced
technology
, it would not be possible for governments to spread health awareness and manage large volumes of medical data as they do now. To conclude, if we put
technology
 to good use, I believe it is not the enemy of traditional
culture
 and it can greatly protect our safety and health. Of course,
this
 assumes that governments have invested sufficient resources in
culture
 and healthcare to reach the goal.
Submitted by Peter Chan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: