The use of electronic media has a negative effect on personal relationships between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With the new development in electronic
media
, people have new opportunities
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
communication
Replace the word
communicate
show examples
such
as
relationships
between people.
However
, some humans think that it negatively affects people's
relationships
. Actually, I agree with
this
statement, but there are still some advantages to
this
. On the one hand, we can observe that electronic
media
is bad for personal
relationships
. With social
media
, mankind
forget
Change the verb form
forgets
show examples
about meeting in person and they lose their communication skills which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
extremely terrible. After
all
Add a comma
,all
show examples
in the future, there will be some problems with solving problems face to face because there wasn't proper practice.
On the other hand
, electronic
media
are
also
a way to make
relationships
better.
For instance
, 30 years ago there were no phones or something else to communicate very fast as we're doing right now. Nowadays, humankind can chat or call each other on different topics no matter where
you
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
stay and no matter what device apply you use. In my opinion, it is really convenient in many ways.
Furthermore
, the progress of technology has gone too far, so
human
Add an article
a human
show examples
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
can have new personal
relationships
on social
media
such
as Instagram, Facebook, Telegram and so on. That means every person can find the other half or friend despite any problems with communication in real life. To sum everything up, I would like to say there are many pros and cons to the use of electronic
media
. Humanity
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
to find
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
own golden mean between
relationships
in social
media
and in real life because it is very crucial.
Submitted by Alexandrdr.35 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: