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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The use of electronic media has a negative effect on personal relationships between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#media #effect #relationships #people
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With the new development in electronic
media
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, people have new opportunities
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
communication
Replace the word
communicate
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such
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 as
relationships
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 between people.
However
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, some humans think that it negatively affects people's
relationships
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. Actually, I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, but there are still some advantages to
this
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. On the one hand, we can observe that electronic
media
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 is bad for personal
relationships
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. With social
media
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, mankind
forget
Change the verb form
forgets
show examples
 about meeting in person and they lose their communication skills which
is
Change the verb form
are
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 extremely terrible. After
all
Add a comma
,all
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 in the future, there will be some problems with solving problems face to face because there wasn't proper practice.
On the other hand
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, electronic
media
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 are
also
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 a way to make
relationships
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 better.
For instance
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, 30 years ago there were no phones or something else to communicate very fast as we're doing right now. Nowadays, humankind can chat or call each other on different topics no matter where
you
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 stay and no matter what device apply you use. In my opinion, it is really convenient in many ways.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the progress of technology has gone too far, so
human
Add an article
a human
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being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
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 can have new personal
relationships
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 on social
media
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such
Linking Words
 as Instagram, Facebook, Telegram and so on. That means every person can find the other half or friend despite any problems with communication in real life. To sum everything up, I would like to say there are many pros and cons to the use of electronic
media
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. Humanity
have
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has
show examples
 to find
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 own golden mean between
relationships
Use synonyms
 in social
media
Use synonyms
 and in real life because it is very crucial.
Submitted by Alexandrdr.35 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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