IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. some people however that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#governments #progress #people #country
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In our society,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
progress
Use synonyms
 is quite
imortant
Correct your spelling
important
 for making
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 life.
For example
Linking Words
, the United Nations has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
reported the ranking of many categories of
development
Use synonyms
 including economy, education and
health
Use synonyms
. A lot of governments consider that economic growth is
Correct article usage
the mot
show examples
mot
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
imortant
Correct your spelling
important
 objective for them. Still, others argue that
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 types of
progress
Use synonyms
 are important for a nation. Both ideas have critical
reazons
Correct your spelling
reasons
, but it is agreed that
advance
Fix the agreement mistake
advances
show examples
 of other forms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 important as well as
an economic ones
Correct the article-noun agreement
an economic one
economic ones
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, economic
progress
Use synonyms
 is
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
intergral
Correct your spelling
integral
 part
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 a country since they can spend money on
imporving
Correct your spelling
improving
 society.
For example
Linking Words
, Japan
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 not rich after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
world war 2,
then
Linking Words
 they had not enough schools and hospital for citizens
due
Add the preposition
todue
show examples
tolacking
Correct your spelling
to lacking
lacking
 of money.
However
Linking Words
, after making huge economic
progress
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
during
show examples
 the period of
Korean
Add an article
the Korean
show examples
 war, Japan could
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
 in
imporving
Correct your spelling
improving
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 income,
Linking Words
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
show examples
 people could consume and live
richely
Correct your spelling
richly
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it makes clear that the
development
Use synonyms
 economically is most
imortant
Correct your spelling
important
 for many
govenments
Correct your spelling
governments
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others believe that other
tyepes
Correct your spelling
types
 of
improvment
Correct your spelling
improvement
 are equally crucial for a country. The other types of
progress
Use synonyms
 including
health
Use synonyms
 conditions and education
sistems
Correct your spelling
systems
 can increase
citizen's
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens'
show examples
 satisfaction
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their life.
For instance
Linking Words
, South
africa
Change the capitalization
Africa
show examples
 tried to increase the number of hospitals and schools with some NGOs in 1980 which lead to a great result that people feel live more safely with good
health
Use synonyms
condiation
Correct your spelling
condition
conditions
 and
knowleadge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
.
Thus
Linking Words
 it is
apperant
Correct your spelling
apparent
 that trying to make
a
Change the article
an
show examples
improvent
Correct your spelling
improvement
 for other types of
progress
Use synonyms
 is important as well as economic growth. In summary, both economic
progress
Use synonyms
 and the
development
Use synonyms
 of other parts like
health
Use synonyms
,
education
Correct word choice
and education
show examples
 have a large influence on citizens.
However
Linking Words
, the economic growth
tend
Change the verb form
tends
show examples
 to make a benefit
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
only
limited
Correct article usage
a limited
show examples
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
,
therefore
Linking Words
 it is clear that the other parts are equally important since all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
citizens
Add an article
the citizens
show examples
 can get
theri
Correct your spelling
their
there
 benefits. After thorough
this
Linking Words
 discussion, it is predicted that if a government focus on not only the economic
development
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 social
improvments
Correct your spelling
improvements
, the nation will be changed in
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
 way dramatically.
Submitted by lyu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: