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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many blieve that living in a city offers greater benefits compared to life the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#blieve #city #life #countryside
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With the acceleration of industrialization and the advancement of countries, nowadays,
cities
Use synonyms
 have been developing over the years.
Therefore
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, A large portion of people is convinced that there are far more opportunities and dramatic shifts in
cities
Use synonyms
 rather than villages. As far as I am concerned, I am strongly in agreement with those who think the urban
areas
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 are cosier and better to live in the countryside. On the one hand, currently, most government principals have been doing their best to develop and improve the metropolises to keep abreast with other developed countries. What I mean by
this
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, first and foremost the infrastructure
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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belongs to developing countries, is boosted and advanced perfectly by providing the population with gas, electricity and water supply which are extremely crucial and vital for living better.
Furthermore
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, the majority of the high-rise flats, council estates and tower blocks are constructed and designed by the government to allow for each family living in the
city
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,
as well as
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 ,naturally
city
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 dwellers possess some extra services
such
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 as heating
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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, fresh water and internet connection.
Hence
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, all of them are not ubiquitous in rural
areas
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, since the state is not stimulated to implement some new changes, so many people complain with regard to exacerbating villages.
On the other hand
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, in suburban
areas
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, the education system is not well-developed and well-endowed,
also
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, the number of workplaces is paltry and good for nothing. There, a large portion of folk does agricultural
works
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work
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 like growing vegetation, sowing fruit trees, collecting the crops and selling agricultural products to buyers who come from the
city
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, trading down.
However
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, these days, there are a number of vacancies for unemployed people in developing
cities
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 and
besides
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, parents in
cities
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 are capable of providing their children with good quality of life and education.
To sum up
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, I personally think, it is undoubtedly that the living condition in the
city
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 is much better than in villages.
Also
Linking Words
, the government should do its utmost to improve the harsh rural
areas
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by uluga2002 on

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task response
The task response should be more balanced, with a discussion of both the advantages and disadvantages of living in the city compared to the countryside.
coherence and cohesion
The coherence and cohesion could be improved by using more transition words and phrases to link ideas and create a smoother flow of information.
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