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Band 5.5

The most important thing about a job is how much money you earn in that job. Do you agree or disagree?

#job #money
People
 have their own ambition
while
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 they graduate. The most important goal for them is they want to get
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
salary
 once they graduate which they deserve their goal. It is
diagreed
Correct your spelling
disagreed
agreed
 that
money
 is the most
esseatial
Correct your spelling
essential
 thing
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 getting a job.
People
satifaction
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
 in that job as well as knowledge and experience being
a head
Correct your spelling
ahead
show examples
 of the
salary
.
Firstly
,
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 prefer
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
with
good
Add an article
the good
show examples
 working environment and employment support.
They
Add a verb
areThey
wereThey
show examples
 happy to complete their
work
 and
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
work
 to support them in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
difficult situation. Even they got
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 high or low
salary
.
For example
, a project team seem to get
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
salary
 and they need to have the best co-worker to
complet
Correct your spelling
complete
 their
work
 on time.
Therefore
people
Add the comma(s)
,people
show examples
 who deserve
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
salary
 and
feeling
Wrong verb form
feel
show examples
stress
Wrong verb form
stressed
show examples
 to do their
work
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can not get a good working
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
.
Secondly
, some
people
 only think about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
 rather than their education
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
.
Sometime
Replace the word
Sometimes
show examples
 they
work
 in a position
that is
 not related to their background of
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
. They prefer what position will provide them
more
Change preposition
with more
show examples
money
.
For instance
, some
people
 who study teaching are going to
work
 in the school or university, but they choose another
postion
Correct your spelling
position
option
 to get
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
salary
 rather than being a teacher. It is not a good point for them due to they get only experience, but they can not improve the knowledge of their field of study. To sum up,
money
 is
apart
Correct your spelling
a part
show examples
 of
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
, but not the best important for workers. They need to consider
careful
Replace the word
carefully
show examples
 about
other specific point
Change the wording
another specific point
other specific points
show examples
 of that job before they apply to that position. In my opinion,
money
 consideration will substitute with the
satifaction
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
 and working condition when
people
 want to engage in
working
Add an article
the working
show examples
 sector.
Submitted by sedfrtgt on

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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