Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
contemporary world, technology has been changing enhance in our daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, wherever people are able to acquire information and their needs and requirements through technological platforms.
Due to
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
some humans are becoming equal because they are allowed to get the same manufactured things in any other destinations.
Although
Linking Words
others demonstrate it has positive impacts
as well as
Linking Words
negative causes.
This
Linking Words
essay will focus on these two sides and
eventually
Add a comma
eventually,
show examples
I will elaborate on my opinion.
To begin
Linking Words
with, currently, online shopping is becoming a trend among the public around the globe. Certainly, the advent of computer-based science, makes it easier to do business transactions through digital platforms.
For example
Linking Words
, nowadays, customers have various access to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
their shopp6 through websites like
e-bay
Correct your spelling
eBay
, Alibaba and so on.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they are able to buy products which are not available in their country and they are capable
to save
Change preposition
of saving
show examples
time and transport charges by these precious methods.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, citizens who are coming from low-income families, increasingly are trying to engage in online purchasing without thinking about their poor economic situations.
For instance
Linking Words
, children whose parents earn less money in their life, are able to do
such
Linking Words
unnecessary e-business to buy expensive products without concern about their parents' struggles. As
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
, selfish behaviours make people more and more vulnerable in the community and wherever they need to get the debt to settle their cash to purchase like unwanted retailers. In conclusion, from my perspective,in
this
Linking Words
modern world, citizens have transport services to travel around the world.
However
Linking Words
, the e-business premises
are assisted
Wrong verb form
assist
show examples
them
to do
Change preposition
in doing
show examples
the shopping and
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
international outputs. I believe
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because if we have the capability to attain
suchlike
Correct word choice
such
show examples
things, it
makes
Verb problem
gives
show examples
us satisfactory feelings and happiness. Even if people are willing to do online shopping to get a new experience in their life and to get knowledge about the process.
Submitted by skrodrigo030 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
The essay lacks clear structure, introduction, and conclusion. The points are not well-developed and the examples are not relevant to the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks a logical structure and coherence. The ideas are not well-organized, and the paragraphs are not logically connected.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
What to do next:
Look at other essays: