IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important. Discuss both views.

#people #animals #zoos
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The line graph below
represent
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represents
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 about average carbon dioxide emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.
Firstly
Linking Words
, let's take a look at CO2 emissions in metric tonnes
at
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in
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 Portugal. We can see that it's increasing smoothly from 1 to 2
at
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from
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 1967 until 1977. And from 1977 to 1987, the CO2 emissions in metric tonnes still grow up from 2 to nearly 4. But from 1987 to 1997,
it's grow
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it's growing
it's grown
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 up rapidly to nearly 6 And until 2007, it's still nearly 6.
Next
Linking Words
 is Italy, from 1967 to 1977, it's increasing dramatically from nearly 4 to nearly 6, until 1997, it's rising slowly to nearly 8, until 2007, it's still
stand
Correct subject-verb agreement
stands
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for
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at
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 nearly 8.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, let's look at Sweden, from 1967 to 1997,
it's grow
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it's growing
it's grown
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 up from 8 to 10 from 1977,
it's grow
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it's growing
it's grown
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 up from 8 to 10, from 1977 to 1987,
it's
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it's decreased
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decrease
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decreased
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 dramatically, until 2007, it's still decreasing slowly.
Linking Words
Last
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The last
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 one is
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 Kingdom, from 1967 to 1977,
it's
Unnecessary verb
it
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 still
stand
Correct subject-verb agreement
stands
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 for nearly 10. But from 1977 to 1987,
it's suddenly go
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it's suddenly going
it's suddenly gone
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 down until 2007. So that we can see the line graph show us CO2 emission in metric tonnes at Portugal and Italy is increasing and Sweden and
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 Kingdom is decreasing.
Submitted by alext620 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • captivity
  • natural habitat
  • artificial enclosures
  • genetic diversity
  • animal welfare
  • conservation efforts
  • endangered species
  • biodiversity
  • education platform
  • breeding programs
  • reintroduction
  • psychological suffering
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