Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

#people #sites #facebook #impact #individuals #society

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With social

media

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becoming a ubiquitous element of our daily lives, many believe that some of these

sites

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have an adverse effect on us. In my opinion, I totally agree that they have exerted significant negative influences on both individuals and society.

To begin

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with, it is undeniable that social

media

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often projects an unrealistic and unattainable standard on teenagers. Young

people

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tend to be attention seekers, and they do seek positive feedback on social networking

sites

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For example

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, young

people

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only post the most appealing pictures and the most positive parts of their lives on social

media

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Hence

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, it is easy for social networking

sites

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to convey false standards of beauty and success to them, undermining the fact that imperfection is not a problem.

Consequently

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this

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can lead to low self-esteem and even depression problems in teenagers.

Secondly

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, equally worth mentioning is that social

media

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has played an essential role in polarising our society. In an effort to boost revenue, some social networking

sites

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are infamous for using artificial intelligence algorithms to manipulate netizens’ behaviour online.

As a result

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this

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leads

people

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to engage more in hate speeches or aggressive discussions, as

people

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are inherently more focused on negativity.

Furthermore

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this

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can be exacerbated by political events. The recent US presidential election is a good example. In that election, Facebook and Twitter were notorious for spreading biases and causing conflicts across the country. In conclusion, my view is that the algorithms of social networking platforms are massively misused for commercial and political purposes, and that has imposed harm on our youth’s mental health and social harmony.

Submitted by Peter Chan on Fri May 27 2022

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task response

Ensure that the essay addresses all parts of the question and provides a clear opinion. Include a balanced discussion of both positive and negative impacts of social media.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-presented. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and uses cohesive devices to link ideas together.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

erosion
face-to-face
interactions
privacy concerns
data breaches
misinformation
polarize
cyberbullying
online harassment
procrastination
productivity
social isolation
dissemination
breeding ground
vast amounts
personal information
mental health

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Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

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