Some people claim that human activities cause global warming, while others believe it is a natural phenomenon. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Global warming is a serious issue globally, and some groups of individuals believe that
this
circumstance occurred because of humans. Meanwhile, some people argue it is a natural phenomenon. I stand with those that global warming is the effect of human inventions.
The biggest risk that may faced by Earth is climate change issue. This
situation initially
happened because of the industrialization era, when the production of human needs increased significantly and used coal as a source for power plants. As a result
, the carbon emissions made by power plants released
into the atmosphere and make our climate warmer year by year. To illustrate, scientists around the world Add a missing verb
are released
determine
that 2023 will be the hottest year ever. The degree is increased reach 1.5 degrees higher compared with the industrialization era.
An increasing number of fossil fuel-based vehicles Wrong verb form
have determined
also
contribute towards global warming. Many people are still dependent on using their private cars or motorcycles for travel, which has increased the number of carbon dioxide that is
produced. Therefore
, activity also
impacts directly to global warming and is detrimental to the environment. Additionally
, many forests have been destroyed for industry purposes making the effect of global warming even worse. Because trees could help the earth absorb and reduce carbon emissions. For instance
, the forest on Kalimantan island in Indonesia is getting smaller than two decades ago due to
corporations wanting to grow palm oil.
In conclusion, human activity such
as industrialization, fossil fuel vehicles and deforestation are the reasons behind global warming. Therefore
, I, remain firmly convinced that global warming is not a natural phenomenon.Submitted by 2024successielts on
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coherence cohesion
Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices such as linking words and phrases for complex ideas, transitions, and synonyms to avoid repetition which will help the text flow more naturally and logically.
coherence cohesion
Structure the essay by including a clearer introductory statement that more effectively outlines the upcoming discussion, with a final conclusion that reaffirms your view succinctly.
coherence cohesion
Although the main points are somewhat supported, they would benefit from deeper analysis and a wider range of examples to clearly explain and exemplify the points being made.
task achievement
The response is on topic, but it could more thoroughly cover the counter viewpoint that global warming may be a natural phenomenon, as the task requires discussing both views before providing your opinion.
task achievement
Develop ideas more fully to provide a deeper and more compelling response. The examples used are relevant but expand on these, bringing in more detailed justification and a richer variety of evidence.
task achievement
Make sure that your conclusion definitively states your position with a concise summary of the points discussed, thereby closing the argument effectively.