In many countries, people now wear western-style dress such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Is this a positive or negative development?

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The

fashion

Use synonyms

sense of the West is spreading to many parts of the world and being preferred over national clothing. I think

this

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is a completely negative development for 2 main reasons.

Firstly

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, traditional clothing helps a nation

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

protect its national identity and losing it would assimilate the values of that nation.

Furthermore

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, national outfits carry significance for a lot of nationalities as they are designed with patterns which are reflections of those nationalities’ past struggles and successes. The loss of these design features would only contribute to erasing the knowledge of the past.

In addition

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, said design features allow

fashion

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designers to add these features to everyday clothing and bring more variety into the pool of options we have for dressing up which

otherwise

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would have been bland

due to

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repetitive looks.

Secondly

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, the

fashion

Use synonyms

industry that produces

western-style

Change the capitalization

Western-style

show examples

clothing is known to be creating waste and polluting the planet.

For example

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, a lot of big corporations follow the trend of fast

fashion

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which is a negative practice of marketing.

This

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marketing strategy involves making customers dispose of whatever piece they bought in previous years to purchase the new season products to avoid being called out-of-

fashion

Use synonyms

Consequently

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,the success of

this

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initiative leads to fabric waste filling landscapes as fabric waste cannot be recycled easily like other materials

such

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as metals or plastics

due to

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low awareness of

this

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issue. In conclusion, the spread of Western outlook on clothing harms the preservation of traditional outfits which contributes to keeping a nation’s past alive and

also

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, aligns with negative practices

such

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as fast

fashion

Use synonyms

that harms the environment.

laman.nazarovaaFri Dec 27 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Consider introducing more varied conjunctions and transitional phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs and ideas.

Task Achievement

Expand on specific examples in each paragraph to provide a more detailed examination of the points.

Task Achievement

The essay presents a clear stance on whether western-style dress is a positive or negative development, addressing the task fully and effectively.

Coherence & Cohesion

Introduction and conclusion are well-structured, providing a clear opening and closing to the essay.

Task Achievement

The examples of fabric waste and fast fashion are relevant and well integrated, supporting the main points effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

globalization
cultural homogenization
western-style dress
traditional clothing
cosmopolitan
modernity
fashion preferences
cultural identity
conformity
practicality
multinational corporations
socio-economic factors
cross-cultural
cultural appreciation
diversity
influence
heritage
textiles

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In many countries, people now wear western-style dress such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Is this a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

These days, many countries help other countries by giving free food, medical, or other aid. What are the benefits and drawbacks of this for countries that give and receive?

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays anyone can post news on the internet. As a result, we cannot trust information we read there. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Education and health care should be funded by the government and free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?