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Writing Samples
Band 5

Weddings are getting bigger and more expensive. What is the reason for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

It is often argued that couples are investing more and more in extravagant and huge marriage ceremonies. The paragraphs below will discuss
this
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 theory
explaining
Punctuation problem
, explaining
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 why the influence of social platforms and the eagerness to live have cooperated for
this
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 phenomenon
and
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, and
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 why it is not an advantageous progress.
To begin
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 with, there is a myriad of motives to justify why weddings are becoming super events. One of which is
due to
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 the advent of social media. Since the development of some platforms, like Instagram and Facebook, people started
an
Correct article usage
the
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 idea that posting about
extortionate
Correct word choice
extravagant
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 and gigantic celebrations and moments is normal, even if it is not their reality.
Therefore
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, it is just another way to maintain their status quo. Another justification is that people are celebrating life more than ever. To illustrate, after the COVID-19 pandemic, the rate of marriages has risen compared to before
this
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 period.
However
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,
following
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this
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 trend is not an interesting decision. First of all, it is a considerable investment for one night only that could be sectioned
in
Change preposition
into
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others
Fix the agreement mistake
other
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 expenses.
For instance
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, every bride and groom mostly desire to live together, constitute a family and travel,
thus
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, they must value frugality.
Secondly
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, the effort to make it happen may not be worth the stress.
For example
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, my sister has not enjoyed her wedding because she
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
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 most of it worried if the guests were being served or if the band was going to arrive on time, on a day that she should have been the person to enjoy the most.
To conclude
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, recently, weddings have become bigger and more expensive
due to
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 the use of social networks to post trivia and
due to
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 the fear of maybe not having these experiences at another time.
Moreover
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,
this
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 development is not worth it, as the expenses can hamper reaching other goals and stress out the people who must be pleased.

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grammar
Fix grammar and spelling to make sentences clear.
vocabulary
Use simple words and keep away from long forms. Avoid words like myriad or extortionate.
coherence
Group ideas in clear parts and link them with small joins.
task response
Give real and plain examples that fit the topic.
task response
State your view in the intro and restate it in the conclusion.
structure
Intro and conclusion show the idea.
content
There is a real life example about your sister.
thesis
The topic is clear from the start.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • lavish
  • extravagant
  • nuptials
  • matrimony
  • social status
  • opulence
  • milestone
  • financial leverage
  • debt
  • peer pressure
  • consumerism
  • showcase event
  • ceremonial splendor
  • bridal extravaganza
  • market forces
  • commercialization
  • budgeting
  • social comparison
  • destinal wedding
  • event planning
  • wedding vendors
  • loan
  • prestige
  • economic impact
  • mandatory spending
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