IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that there should be a fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #punishment #type #crime #circumstances #motivation #account
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Having more
money
Use synonyms
 and less free
time
Use synonyms
 is better than earning less
money
Use synonyms
 and having more free
time
Use synonyms
. As the world
developing
Wrong verb form
develops
show examples
day
Use synonyms
 by
day
Use synonyms
, people are
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 busier than ever.
Money
Use synonyms
 has become the most important. Everyone's trying to earn as much
money
Use synonyms
 as they can. Because of trying to work really hard, people are not having much free
time
Use synonyms
 as they used to.
Money
Use synonyms
 seems to be important nowadays as everything's prices are
increased
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
day
Use synonyms
 by
day
Use synonyms
. If you work all week, you will earn more
money
Use synonyms
. That means your family lives will become worthier and your
life
Use synonyms
 quality will become better. If you don'
t
Use synonyms
 earn so much
money
Use synonyms
, you will have to
worried
Wrong verb form
worry
show examples
 about the bills, your family will have to work harder and spend less
money
Use synonyms
 on
nessesities
Correct your spelling
necessities
.
However
Linking Words
,
money
Use synonyms
 is just the
Use synonyms
things
Fix the agreement mistake
thing
show examples
 that
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 you to improve your
life
Use synonyms
.
Money
Use synonyms
 is just property and there are a
lot
Use synonyms
 of valuable
things
Use synonyms
 that can not be bought with
money
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as happiness,
health
Correct word choice
and health
show examples
, ... When you spend all your
time
Use synonyms
 working, you can'
t
Use synonyms
 have
time
Use synonyms
 for your family and yourself. You might lose
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
things
Use synonyms
 if you just
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
day
Use synonyms
 by
day
Use synonyms
. Despite the fact that
money
Use synonyms
 can bring you the most
convienient
Correct your spelling
convenient
life
Use synonyms
, it can'
t
Use synonyms
 bring you the happiest
life
Use synonyms
. There are a
lot
Use synonyms
 of people who don'
t
Use synonyms
 earn
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
money
Use synonyms
 but they
are still love
Change the verb form
still love
show examples
 their
Correct your spelling
lives
life
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
. They have
time
Use synonyms
 to travel, to learn how to love themself, to spend with their families and real friends. In my opinion, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 nothing more valuable than family. You can have a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
, but that doesn'
t
Use synonyms
 mean your
life
Use synonyms
 is comfortable. Since you have more free
time
Use synonyms
, you can have
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 memorable
Use synonyms
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 with your family, your friends, and someone you love. You can do a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
things
Use synonyms
 to have an optimistic
life
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, having more
money
Use synonyms
 is good, but
time
Use synonyms
 is the most important thing. You can not buy
time
Use synonyms
. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
also
Linking Words
 something more important than
money
Use synonyms
. If you want a wealthy
life
Use synonyms
, you won'
t
Use synonyms
 have more
freetime
Correct your spelling
free time
 to spend. If you want a joyful
life
Use synonyms
, you may not have a
a
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
lot
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, having more
money
Use synonyms
 and less
freetime
Correct your spelling
free time
 is not always better than earning less
money
Use synonyms
 and having more
freetime
Correct your spelling
free time
.
Submitted by alext620 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: