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Band 4.5

It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn the culture of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films and the internet . Do you agree or disagree?

#travel #places #culture #people #books #films #internet
Some
people
 think that learning a new
cuture
Correct your spelling
culture
 from
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
 place is not related to
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 directly to that
country
, they can get more
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 by looking for the original book or surfing
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the website. I
completly
Correct your spelling
completely
 disagree with that opinion due to learning a new thing from original
resourses
Correct your spelling
resources
 is only the
part
 of that
country
.
Firstly
,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to another
country
 not just learning about a new culture, but
also
 making more
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 via face to face.
More
Change preposition
In more
show examples
 countries they
travel
more
Change preposition
to more
show examples
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 they can make.
For instance
,
people
 from Asia countries
travel
 to European countries are going to learn a new
cuture
Correct your spelling
culture
 of the European
such
 as food, tourism, communication and so on.
However
, learning a
cuture
Correct your spelling
culture
 through some books and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 just a
part
 of the knowledge, but not getting any experience of it.
Secondly
, learning many different types of the language is
also
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 crucial
part
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
travel
. Even though
people
 seem to be spending
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 much money on
travel
,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they can learn a new language and communication
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 from other
people
surround
Wrong verb form
surrounding
show examples
 them.
For example
,
people
 who have
financial
Add an article
the financial
show examples
 ability can attend other
country
 language class and they can make
firend
Correct your spelling
friends
friend
 from
different
Change the article
a different
show examples
 kind of
cuture
Correct your spelling
culture
. In conclusion,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 is an essential
part
 for
people
 who need to learn
a
Change preposition
about a
show examples
new culture
in addition
 to
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
their reading and surfing.
Submitted by sedfrtgt on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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