IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do so many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

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Historically people tend to physically move during the workday, but nowadays there are a lot of jobs that do not require physical activities. And
problem
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the problem
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is tend
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tends
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 to be worse and worse if we think about remote work and corona. So I agree that there
is
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are
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 less exercise experience people
facing
Wrong verb form
face
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 nowadays in comparison to previous years. Of course, there are still a lot of professions that still
requires
Correct subject-verb agreement
require
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person
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a person
the person
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 to be active,
for example
Linking Words
,
job
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a job
the job
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 in the field or
such
Linking Words
 professions as
fitness
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a fitness
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 instructor or flight attendant. But the popularity of computer freelance jobs and global automation in manufacturers are not contestable.It is important to keep your body fit and healthy, and it’s
personal
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the personal
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 responsibility of each and every one. It is pity to know that many of us are getting so tired during the day, so we
just
Add a missing verb
are just
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 not in the right mood to visit
gym
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the gym
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 after work. But fortunately, there are many more ways to keep fit without intense
trainings
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training
pieces of training
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. The
first
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 solution I see
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 is learning about work-life balance, which is
the
Correct article usage
a
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 popular topic. You can select dancing or
walking
Change the verb form
walk
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 as something that makes you happy and fulfilled The
second
Linking Words
 solution is healthy eating,
cause
Correct word choice
because
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 if you are eating healthy you might probably
won’t
Remove a modal verb
apply
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get
overweighted
Replace the word
overweight
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 and you will keep
you
Change the pronoun
your
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 energy level high. The
third
Linking Words
 solution is to
left
Wrong verb form
leave
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 your car and walk everywhere –
this
Linking Words
 is actually my way to keep slim and
also
Linking Words
 helps to
clean
Correct your spelling
clear
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 my mind. In conclusion, there are some ways and information to learn
to begin
Linking Words
 sport in an easy way and make it the part of daily routine

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Time constraints
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Passive leisure activities
  • Workplace wellness programs
  • Active commuting
  • Subsidized
  • Public awareness
  • Health benefits
  • Incentivizing
  • Accessible public spaces
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