IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

some people believe that the whole family (grandparents, uncles and aunts) bringing up children is better than only parents. What is your opinion

#people #grandparents #uncles #aunts #children #parents
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a debate around
children
Use synonyms
's treatment some believe other
relatives
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as grandparents should take
care
Use synonyms
 of
children
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
. But in my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 practice could be harmful to
children
Use synonyms
's
future
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as depression and undecidableness
Firstly
Linking Words
, every person has a different personality, so when other
relatives
Use synonyms
 other than
parents
Use synonyms
 tend to
care
Use synonyms
 about
children
Use synonyms
 it may some issues for that
children
Use synonyms
's
future
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, when minors follow other ones than their
parents
Use synonyms
 they may grow with many doubts as one action is favourable from
parents
Use synonyms
 view other is better from grandparents point.
This
Linking Words
 will lead the offspring to undecideableness in their
future
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 may
cause
Use synonyms
 so many unfavourable experiences in a row and
cause
Use synonyms
 depression for those
children
Use synonyms
 in
future
Use synonyms
. Other than that, no one would not and can not take
care
Use synonyms
 of
children
Use synonyms
 as
parents
Use synonyms
 do. Today many individuals are busy with their affairs even closest
relatives
Use synonyms
 may have their own problems.
Thus
Linking Words
, taking
care
Use synonyms
 of someone else child will be their
second
Linking Words
 priority and
this
Linking Words
 may influence
children
Use synonyms
's
future
Use synonyms
 and their way of thinking. If a child is shared between other members of the family like the grandmother they may not receive enough attention from the
parents
Use synonyms
' side and
this
Linking Words
 could
cause
Use synonyms
 some issues in the
children
Use synonyms
's
future
Use synonyms
 life. In conclusion, there are alternative ways of taking
care
Use synonyms
 of
children
Use synonyms
. Some think if child getting take
care
Use synonyms
 of other
relatives
Use synonyms
 is better but in my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 action is very wrong and can
cause
Use synonyms
 various problems for the
children
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by parafik on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: