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Band 5.5

In some countries children have very strict rules of behaviour, while in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they want. To what extent should children have to follow rules? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #children #rules #behaviour
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There are different approaches for
nurture
Wrong verb form
nurturing
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children
Use synonyms
 in various nations. Whether they grow up with tough rules or be completely free. I agree with the former statement and totally believe that passing some laws for younger
children
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 could be beneficial as they learn to respect others in general view.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they may be more likely to have a better lifestyle in the future at the same time .
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
this
Linking Words
 is irrefutable that everybody should observe some basic concepts and moral values.
That is
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 to say, a few valuable common mores
such
Linking Words
 as respect, humbleness, diligence and patience seem necessary for establishing sustainable relationships and having positive reactions in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
Japan
Add a comma
Japan,
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 pupils are taught these definitions at early ages in nursery schools owing to the beliefs state. It means that with academic education, the younger generation could control negative hidden parts of their personality.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, it is universally accepted that Japanese people are really respectful populations.
On the other hand
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, there is a variety of scientific evidence which proves the more obey mores in each culture, the better lifestyle citizens have. So, people tend to have more discipline
however
Linking Words
 it would be accompanied by the severity in some cases. A great example of
this
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 idea is China where the government has strict discipline for
children
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's uniforms and hairstyles in schools.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they will be probably more
well-dress
Correct your spelling
well-dressed
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 in adult age. In conclusion, I would say, in my opinion, the moralistic phenomenon would be a suitable property among people which could be taught to
children
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.
Thus
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, they might have better prospects in both personal and social lives.
Submitted by z.sheikhnajdi on

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task response
Add a clear thesis statement at the beginning of the essay to directly address the task prompt.
coherence cohesion
Create stronger connections between ideas to improve coherence and cohesion, and use more linking words to improve the flow of the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • upbringing
  • discipline
  • autonomy
  • safety
  • responsibility
  • creativity
  • critical thinking
  • independence
  • boundaries
  • rebellion
  • holistic development
  • structure
  • nurturing environment
  • behavioral expectations
  • social norms
  • authority
  • decision-making skills
  • consequences
  • respect
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