IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think that governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help people prevent illness and disease. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #governments #focus #pollution #illness #disease
Most people believe that the focus of the ruling party should always be to better the lives of citizens.
This
 task can only be achieved by bettering the welfare of citizens. Whether it be by building new homes or minimizing the damage to the environment. I completely agree with
this
 statement, And in
this
 essay, I will give reasons why
this
 is essential. In order to survive, we must protect the world we live in. And a job as important as
this
 should be the main priority of a nation’s highest office. If work to decrease the different types of
pollution
 (Air
pollution
, Water
pollution
, Soil
pollution
, and Noise
pollution
) is left solely to individuals there would not be much improvement. Having said
this
, I feel combating and preventing
pollution
 should be one of the main aims of governments.
This
, in turn, will improve the overall health of citizens. Another sector that needs attention is the control and prevention of different types of diseases.
This
 could be achieved by improving the living standard of individuals. Because many illnesses are easily transmitted if close and unnecessary contact can be avoided the spread will likely decrease.
For instance
, in 2020 the best way to limit the spread of the coronavirus was through isolation, and
this
 can only be done if people with low-income are provided with proper living quarters. To sum up, the government has the responsibility to spread awareness and lend a helping hand.
This
 will improve the overall well-being of its subjects.
Submitted by yazi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • respiratory diseases
  • heart conditions
  • incidence
  • affordable housing
  • stress
  • infectious diseases
  • preventative measures
  • cost-effective
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • comprehensive approach
  • global warming
  • climate change
  • exacerbated
What to do next:
Look at other essays: