IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Today the quality of life in large cities is decreasing. Discuss the causes and suggest solutions.

With the modernization in the world and the advancement in
technologies
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,
people
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 are sacrificing their standard of living. In recent times, most of the
people
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of
Change preposition
in
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 large cities are leading a low-quality
life
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. In my perspective, the rising population, usage of
technologies
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, and environmental pollution are the major issues for
this
Linking Words
 type of
life
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.
To begin
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 with, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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large
cities
Add a comma
cities,
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people
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 are living a
fast pace
Correct your spelling
fast-paced
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life
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. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
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instance, their day-to-day schedule is more of like same, wake up early, go to work
then
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 come back late and sleep. In
this
Linking Words
 situation, they are not able to spend quality time with their family or loved ones.
Furthermore
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, Some of them are so engaged in social media apps and
technologies
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 that they can only be seen at home rather than playing outside or meeting their friends,
due to
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 which, they face obesity and laziness.
As a result
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,
leading
Wrong verb form
it leads
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 to an unhealthy and low-quality
life
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.
However
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, to cure
this
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 problem,
people
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of
Change preposition
in
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 large cities should restrict their usage of
technologies
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such
Linking Words
 as online games and social media apps and hang out more often with their friends and family.
Furthermore
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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environmental pollution,
due to
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 which,
people
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 tend to suffer a lot of health problems can
also
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 be cured, by using, health purifiers at home.
In addition
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, in my view, the government should restrict the buying of cars in a family as
people
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are having
Wrong verb form
have
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 more cars than family members. In conclusion,
people
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 should take care of the environment to live a good-quality
life
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.
People
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 should
also
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 consider meeting
people
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 in person rather than on social media, and invest more time outside by doing some activity to live a healthy and prosperous
life
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Ensure that the response fully addresses all parts of the task and stays on topic. Avoid going off on tangents or introducing irrelevant information.
coherence and cohesion
Organize the ideas in a more logical and coherent manner. Use cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs together more effectively.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Overpopulation
  • Strained resources
  • Commute times
  • Economic stress
  • Community events
  • Affordable housing
  • Environmental regulations
  • Green spaces
  • Urban environments
  • Socialize
  • Foster
  • Tackle
  • Strategies
  • Implementing
  • Pollution
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