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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement. Give reasons for your answer and indicate any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #health #future
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In
Linking Words
Last
Correct article usage
the Last
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 20 years if you see the fitness of
community
Correct article usage
the community
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 is deteriorating. Whether it's
food
Use synonyms
, habits or say work there is a large
number
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 of
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
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 which can directly affect human well-being. there is a clear trend which is visible now about human fitness and I'd like to discuss my view regarding that to some extent. If you see the amount of junk
food
Use synonyms
 consumed by a human is increasing over
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
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 15 years
although
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 the impact of that on
health
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 wasn't that visible. but if you see
large
Change the article
a large
the large
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number
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 of
population
Add an article
the population
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 are living a mostly sedentary lifestyle and because of that those junk
food
Use synonyms
 direct impact your energy.
Besides
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 that amount of stress, anxiety, etc are increasing day by day whether it's family issues or work-related issues these are the things which directly impact on
health
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.
for instance
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 there was research by john Hopkins university, the average age when a human can get heart attack was 69 year in 1990 but since
then
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 it's decreased astonishingly to 48 year in 2020, and that's
ofbecause
Correct your spelling
because
of because
 the amount of stress we are taking.
However
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, despite all of that there were some initiatives taken by the government to aware
people
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 of strength who had gathered immense support, for ,example British government has ordered restaurants and
food
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 stalls to lower their
discount
Fix the agreement mistake
discounts
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 so
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 can get avoided by
people
Use synonyms
 mostly obese.
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Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
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 we are seeing everywhere community are getting more incline towards exercise and
also
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 they are avoiding sedentary lifestyle to live longer. There is a greater
number
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 of research going on biology sector to improve
health
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 and
also
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 detect any
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health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
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 issues in early-stage so
people
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 don't get complacent. In the conclusion, in spite of ,that I do believe there would be a greater
number
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 of chances that the energy of human being could get deteriorate in future. We aren't seeing any visible clear sign that
people
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 are adopting an active lifestyle to reduce any well-being major concerns unless there is a problem in the body.
Submitted by jaygabani852 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Standard of health
  • 2. Average
  • 3. Lower
  • 4. Future
  • 5. Aging population
  • 6. Chronic diseases
  • 7. Sedentary lifestyle
  • 8. Lack of exercise
  • 9. Poor dietary habits
  • 10. Environmental pollution
  • 11. Technological advancements
  • 12. Impact on health
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