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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative
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Although
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, nowadays some
people
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 believe that the better way of controlling
crime
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 is to give a criminal a longer time in prison. Other some believe that there are alternative methods of reducing
crime
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 in a
society
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. In my ,opinion it giving
imprisonment
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 depends upon to what extent the
crime
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 is committed. On the one hand, some consider that the long
imprisonment
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 the lesser in
crime
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 rate, in the other words considering long
imprisonment
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 will have a mental effect on committing an offence. For ,example , in
Dubai
Add a comma
,Dubai
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 those committing a
crime
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 like rape have lifetime
imprisonment
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 and for a
,
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apply
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theft they literally cut smash off their hand. So
this
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 law of committing a
crime
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 has reduced the
crime
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 rate almost to zero,
thus
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 a longer stay in prison will stop an individual to stop before being involved in a
crime
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.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 consider other options to be much more helpful in reducing
crime
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 in a
society
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,
such
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 as a person who has carried out a
crime
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 has been forced to be involved in free community work.
This
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 will enable them in improve their mentality and
also
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 be beneficial to
society
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.
Moreover
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 doing free work for a
society
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 like cleaning parks and public washrooms and so on
,
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apply
show examples
will help them rehabilitate offenders and help the
people
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 at the same time.
Thus
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this
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 will
also
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 clear that there is
also
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Add an article
an
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alternative way of long
imprisonment
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. In my opinion, how an individual should be punished depends on the nature and motive of the
crime
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 they have performed, but there should be
a
Correct article usage
apply
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prolonged
crimes
Correct the article-noun agreement
crime
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such
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 as murder and rape as the criminal should be announced a death strictly.
People
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 involved in lesser degree offences can be punished by the other means of punishment. To conclude, stating my opinion about reducing
crime
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 by a prolonged stay in a prison will not change a person's alternative method, of free community work will definitely change a person and teach him how to live in a
society
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by uv8818 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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